


the way you make me feel

by gigimethydtrash



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Pining, RuPaul's Drag Race References, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigimethydtrash/pseuds/gigimethydtrash
Summary: Filming for Drag Race has ended and Gigi reflects on her time with Crystal, navigating through her feelings while embracing all of the changes happening in her life. What happens when the lines become blurred as they watch their story unfold in the midst of a life-changing competition?
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 69
Kudos: 157





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I wanted to put my Crygi fic here. It is a non-AU, which I have not seen very much of. It will be a multi-chaptered fic and is already completed. I love Crystal and Gigi's dynamic, so I figured it would be fun to write and incorporate some real life events, while also creating my own plot. This chapter serves as a prologue and the following chapters will be longer. Enjoy!
> 
> sidenote: I imagine the characters out of drag when I write, and it is not a F/F story although she/her pronouns are used.

It was no surprise to Gigi that she would feel anxious about being displayed on national television for the world to judge her. After all, she was an anxious person by nature and the idea of people tearing down her drag, the most important aspect of her life, was pretty terrifying.

What Gigi didn’t expect, however, was that most of the pure terror running through her veins week after week was because she was scared of looking like an absolute fool in her confessionals. She kind of remembered talking about Crystal, but the problem was she didn’t really remember the segments already shown on the episodes, meaning there was lots more content of her gushing like an idiot. The thing was, she was never used to openly talking about her feelings and what was on her mind, much rather preferring to show her emotions through her actions. She wasn’t good with words. She also didn’t realize how much time she would be spending in the confessionals answering hundreds of questions and how it would dig right into her core in the middle of the pressure-cooker that was the competition. It was almost impossible to not be honest in the confessionals, the only time she could actually speak to people who weren’t her competition in some sort of privacy. 

Gigi felt a pit in her stomach as she watched herself lighting up like a damn glow stick watching Crystal’s one-woman show. She just knew the fans were going to eat it up because there was a clear difference in how Gigi was reacting versus literally all of the other girls. For instance, they were behaving normally and laughing at the times where Crystal was being funny, while Gigi had a dumb grin glued to her face the entire time. It wasn’t as if it couldn’t read as her supporting a good friend, but her confessionals were not helping her case and she was getting paranoid. The only redeemable part about this is that each and every time Crystal’s name left Gigi’s mouth, Gigi received a text from Crystal with one single red heart emoji. Sometimes if Gigi was extra unlucky and they showed her.. practically drooling over Crystal multiple times at once, Crystal would send an additional pair of heart eyes. It was a small but sweet sentiment, letting Gigi know that her words weren’t going unappreciated. It makes Gigi think, for a second, that her idiocy was worth it. 

She thinks back to the first time seeing Crystal out of drag. The clown look was cute and all, but she did not expect the person under it to be so.. striking. Gigi felt tingles run through her body seeing Crystal’s make-up free face smiling at her. Upon seeing Crystal’s shy personality and her introverted nature, Gigi’s sole goal was to get Crystal out of her shell and protect her at all costs. Hence her more-than-platonic attitude towards Crystal both in the workroom and in her confessionals. As much as Gigi wants to kick herself for it, in her defense she didn’t even register what her feelings meant until after the show. All she knew at the time was that she had met someone she knew she wanted in her life forever and who she ended up clicking with right away. This was not RuPaul’s fall in love race, nor did it even cross her mind that she would find a potential love interest while on the show. She had one purpose in mind, to win the crown, and she would be damned if anyone got in her way. Her one-track mindset often led to her stumbling on her journey, but Gigi knew she had an experience of a lifetime that had landed her in the top three. What she knew for sure was that she honestly didn’t think once during the competition about Crystal, or anyone for that matter, as someone she cared for more than platonically. That part of her brain was shut off, knowing it would probably derail her successes in the competition and take the spotlight off of the main reason she came on the show: to show the world her drag.

Immediately after filming for the show wrapped, the girls made a group-chat to stay in contact and talk about their insane experiences, as well as catch up with those who had left the show early and talk about all of the exciting events to come in the future. Even before this group chat was made, though, Crystal had texted Gigi.

Crystal: I miss you already. I didn’t realize until just now that we won’t see each other for a while.

Gigi felt her stomach turn at this realization, growing massively attached to Crystal in the whirlwind journey they had just shared together. After typing, deleting, and re-typing her message a few times, Gigi replied.

Gigi: I know. Isn’t it crazy that we don’t actually know each other outside of this? Like.. what’s a normal day with Crystal Methyd look like without the constant fucking stress of a tv show?

Crystal replied in seconds, almost making Gigi feel stupid.

Crystal: hmmmmmm.. there are no normal days with me! But if you want to come see the paradise that is Springfield you’re welcome any time. I have to warn you though… its very glamorous. 

Before Gigi could reply, Crystal sent another text that didn’t make Gigi smile like the first one did.

Crystal: okay, gotta go. My flight is about to take off. Miss you soooo much already xoxo

The disappointment Gigi felt after this exchange was shocking. Not because this particular conversation had ended, but because she realized that she wouldn’t be able to see Crystal for a while. And nobody made her happy the way Crystal did. 

The weeks that followed Gigi was absolutely glued to her phone, annoying all of her friends because she was too concerned with her drag race group chat. Gigi didn’t know why she didn’t want to tell them that the group-chat was’t what was distracting her, but her private texts with Crystal were. She felt like a middle-schooler in their first relationship. The first thing she did when she woke up was check her messages for anything Crystal-related, which is exactly how she would spend the rest of the day. She left her phone on the couch when one of her friends, Grant, asked to use it to check instagram.

“Girl, Crystal just sent you like seven messages in a row. Is this what you’ve been doing all day?”

Gigi laughed casually saying, “Yeah we got super close so it’s kind of weird not seeing her everyday. And I think she’s nervous about how everything is going to change once we get announced and everything.”

Grant replied, “No of course. But I mean.. why wouldn’t you just say you’ve been texting Crystal? Its not like we need to know your business but thats a stupid thing to lie about, no? Or is there something you aren’t telling us?”

Gigi could tell by Grant’s smile that he was only joking, knowing he wouldn’t intentionally make her feel uncomfortable. But for some reason he hit a sore spot and she felt sheer panic in her system. She didn’t even have an answer for him, only knowing that she enjoyed her and Crystal’s secret texts about the silliest of things because they were just for them, without the knowledge of the other girls or anyone else for that matter. Gigi liked it just being the two of them in their strange little bubble, Crystal making her feel all warm inside which was something she often hid in fear of being too open and vulnerable, secretly having too much self-doubt. 

“You alright over there?” Grant asked upon seeing Gigi lost in her own world.

“Oh yeah I’m fine. I just honestly don’t know. It didn’t seem like a big deal but yeah. Crystal and I are pretty close. It’s not like we aren’t talking in the group chat too.”

The thing was, Gigi wasn’t nervous about answering Grant. She was nervous because he was hinting at something Gigi had yet to realize herself. Maybe her feelings for Crystal weren’t exactly platonic. 

Crystal, on the other hand, was beyond relieved to be back in the comforts of her own home with her friends where she felt she could finally breathe. The competition was a rollercoaster for her and she was terrified people wouldn’t understand her drag or wouldn’t think she deserved to make it to the top after her struggles in the beginning. As much as she loved her friends, she knew they wouldn’t really understand the insanity she just experienced, so she texted the one person she really relied on in the competition who had been by her side the entire time. Gigi served as a comfort blanket of sorts, a safety net for Crystal when she got too in her head. She also knew once her friends saw Gigi they would be shocked that the two had grown so close, but she was much more open with them than Gigi was being with her friends. 

“Crystal if you don’t get off your damn phone in about thirty seconds I’m gonna break it.” Daegan remarked, never really having much patience.

“Yeah don’t think just because you’re a big drag race star now that you can ignore us.” Lux said, laughing. 

“I’m just texting Gigi! Don’t get jealous! I want you to meet her so bad guys it would be so fun” Crystal almost whines, thoroughly enjoying her exchanges with Gigi without worrying about cameras or producers or anyone for that matter invading their privacy. Crystal was so excited about the photoshoot and the interviews for the Ruveal, not just because it marked the beginning of their new journey, but because she knew it would be a blast to see the girls all together again without having to worry about a competition.

Crystal: Just one more week then you don’t have to cry anymore about how much you miss me! I’m so EXCITED. 

Gigi: oh please. don’t flatter yourself too much. also.. pretty sure you’re the one that texts me everyday(:

Crystal: you’re the one that responds right away! Anyway I cant wait to be in LA and then we go to New York! I’ve never been!!! Do you think fans will guess we’re in the top?

Gigi: I think you’ll be a fan favorite. They’ll love you - I know thats what you’re really asking. I’m excited for the announcement already! I hate secrets. 

Crystal: you don’t seem to mind our top secret conversations. I think some of the other girls are suspicious though because you don’t respond and I always know what you’re doing.

Gigi: id rather talk to you. too much chaos in the chat as much as I love them. 

Their endless conversations go on for weeks, Gigi rapidly putting her newfound worries to the back of her mind, chalking up her confusion about Crystal to the fact that she hadn’t seen her after all this madness. She figured, and hoped, the next time she saw the girl she would realize she was being silly and just missed her friend. 


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love on here! It's cool to see that other people enjoy reading non-AU's as well. This fic will end up being about seven chapters and my hope is to write a few one-shots while this is being published. I hope you like the first official chapter!

They had decided that Gigi would pick Crystal up from the airport. Well, Gigi insisted she would pick Crystal up from the airport, as she felt bad that Crystal couldn’t make the same flight as Widow and Heidi. That and she just wanted to see Crystal and promised it wasn’t an inconvenience in the slightest. This is precisely where she would later realize she was dead wrong about her feelings.

Watching Crystal walk out of her terminal, with that larger than life grin on her face, and her jeans hugging her in all the right places with her cute little button up shirt tucked in and her mullet as gorgeous as ever, Gigi’s breath was taken away. She was so overcome with excitement, yet that wasn’t the dominating feeling in her system. She mostly felt relief. Relief that she could finally be with Crystal again. Yet, Gigi simply refused to acknowledge it. 

Crystal enveloped Gigi in a hug as soon as she was in close enough proximity, whispering a breathless “hi” in her ear. Gigi felt as if she was paralyzed, barely getting out a “hi” after Crystal let go of her.

“You okay, you goof? I cant believe I’m here!”

Gigi laughed at Crystal’s naturally bubbly nature, responding “Yeah I think I’m in shock. Are we sure there aren’t any cameras around here?”

Crystal let out a hearty laugh at that,”Well there are tons of cameras but none of them care about us! We’re nobodies!”

Gigi quipped, “speak for yourself.”

Once finally settled down, the two went for lunch and caught up on what they’ve been up to. Ironically, even though they had talked basically every waking moment of everyday, they actually didn’t know what the other was up to. They focused more on life pre-drag race, as there was so much they didn’t get to know about one another. And of course they spoke about the ins and outs of the competition - their true thoughts on what had gone on from week to week, their personal feelings throughout the competition, and the excitement of the future. 

“Daegan, Daya, and Lux are so excited to meet you. I told them they shouldn’t be though so don’t let your head get too big,” Crystal said while eating her meal.

“Thats funny I don’t recall me being the one going around saying they’re great at everything miss ‘i’m an amazing dancer. I’m an amazing singer. I’m amazing.’”

Crystal rolled her eyes, deadpanning and saying “well if you cant love yourself Gigi, how can you love anyone else?”

Gigi laughed, “Yeah yeah I’ve heard that enough to last a lifetime.”

Later that night after going to their respective hotel rooms that were set up for them by production as close to the spot for the shoot the following morning as possible, Gigi finally allowed herself to reflect on her feelings. She knew she felt differently towards Crystal than any of the other queens, hell she felt differently towards Crystal than anyone in her life at all. Embarking on this adventure with her would obviously only bring them closer and Gigi was terrified for what that meant. She came to the conclusion that it would be for the best to ignore her feelings, not even entirely understanding what they meant, in favor of preserving her friendship and not letting anything get in the way of her making the most of this experience. She was just having a hard time getting what Grant had said out of her head. Why was she so desperately trying to keep her and Crystal’s closeness a secret? Why was she trying to keep the other girl all to herself?

The following morning, some of the girls planned to meet for breakfast at the hotel before their van arrived to take them to the shoot. Jan had been the first one down there, being the most morning person to ever exist, with Gigi arriving second, almost too wired to get a full nights rest anyway. Jackie and Jaida joined her minutes later, as they had all tried to wait for Crystal to join them before eating. Gigi was texting Crystal, worried the girl was still asleep, as she was getting no response. She figured Crystal could handle herself and maybe changed her mind about having breakfast so, slightly disheartened, Gigi joined the other girls at the buffet and made a dish for Crystal just in case. Catching up with the other girls was fun and Gigi had almost forgotten how much she missed them, slipping into her private bubble with Crystal all too comfortably and forgetting about the outside world. Jan was as energetic as ever, Jackie was just as quick witted as ever, and Jaida was just as sarcastic. They spent the morning joking about their memories and how each of their most embarrassing moments would be displayed for the world to see. Jan’s infamous breakdown over Brita’s elimination becoming the hot topic, as Jan admitted it was her Britney moment of the season. 

Gigi knew Crystal was not only early to every event possible in the fear that people would get angry at her for being late, but Crystal was also just an early bird in general and loved getting up early for fun. It was pushing 7:30am, which was when the girls were told to be in the lobby, and Crystal was now the only one not in sight. Gigi and the others were sitting down at their breakfast table when she heard Heidi’s laughter, seeing her pointing towards the elevator.

Gigi lit up at the sight of a severely panicked Crystal, looking as if she was about to have a breakdown with her eyes scanning the lobby for any sign of familiarity to ensure she didn’t miss the van. She fell asleep without setting her alarm, exhausted from the flight and her action-packed day around LA, and woke up a staggering six minutes before call time. Her hair was a mess, she was wearing basketball shorts with a t-shirt that had a hole in the side and socks with sandals. Even her glasses managed to sit crookedly on her face. So much for looking professional. Nicky called her name, as all the girls laughed relentlessly upon seeing the, almost pathetic, relief on Crystal’s face that she wasn’t too late. She walked over with her puppy dog eyes, Gigi’s heart melting as she looked directly at her.

“Aw stop laughing at her you guys she was nervous. I’m sorry Crystal I tried to call you.” Gigi lightly chuckled, as Crystal wrapped her arms around her and laid her head on Gigi’s shoulder.

“Not only did I not set an alarm, I didn’t even put my phone on the charger last night. It’s dead.” As Crystal was speaking, the girls were being ushered into the van. 

“And now I missed breakfast and everything,” Crystal looked so genuinely disappointed, it tugged on Gigi’s heartstrings.

“You didn’t miss much, I promise. But I did manage to get a takeaway container filled with a little of everything for you to pick on in the van.”

Crystal lit up, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, “what would I do without you??” 

Gigi didn’t want to imagine a world where they would find out. 

Just as it happened in the van, it was only natural for Gigi and Crystal to sit right next to each other, practically on top of one another, in the dressing room. Their makeup stations were closer than anyone else’s, the two so deep into conversation they couldn’t hear anyone else. The other girls had known how close they were, but most of them left the competition earlier and didn’t get to see their bond, so they chalked it up to the sheer amount of time the two spent together. Jackie and Jaida, however, were slightly confused at the pair’s clinginess. Jackie, being the most vocal of the group, went over to Jaida out of pure curiosity, saying,

“I know they’re close and all but I don’t remember them being like this!” She said with a light laugh.

“Chile, I don’t either but.. we’re bound to find out at some point. Something’s always been brewing between them whether they know it or not but its not any of my business.” Jaida said as laidback as ever. Jackie agreed and figured she’d better let this one go for now. 

Gigi was aware that she was practically hoarding all of Crystal’s time, but she had felt so badly after seeing her look like such a wreck in the morning. Her heart sank - being the only one to know truly how much Crystal was excited - and completely terrified - for this day because the interviews she would give would be her introduction to the world, already knowing she was different from anyone that had been on the show. She wanted to represent her hometown, especially her Get Dusted family, well and prove that being weird wasn’t a bad thing. Gigi was intent on making Crystal’s trip as carefree and low-stress as possible and after the little episode this morning, Gigi was even more driven to do so. But after a snide comment from Nicky, Gigi grew self conscious. 

“Girl you may as well sit on Crystal’s lap and paint at this point,” Nicky said while all the other girls bursted out in laughter.

Gigi got uncharacteristically red in the face, Crystal squeezing her side and giving a sympathetic smile to her.

“Frankly, I don’t know why you’d wanna be on Crystal’s lap when I’m clearly trade of the season. We painted next to each other all season and I didn’t see any action - you had your chance!” Jaida said to lighten the mood, always known to provide comedic relief even when it wasn’t completely necessary. After all, none of the girls felt the tension in that moment aside from Gigi.

“still kind of insulted that nobody deemed me trade of the season. But its okay, I get it. Not offended at all,” Gigi said with a quick huff and a roll of her eyes.

Crystal quipped, “you’re my trade of the season Gi don’t mind them.”

All tension left her body at an embarrassingly fast rate, as Crystal always knew just what to say.

Even though the girls were exhausted, they were all sad to see one another leave. This time, Gigi wouldn’t be at the airport with Crystal and they were forced to say their goodbyes with everyone else. Gigi was in much higher spirits, however, because she was confident that she had resolved her feelings for Crystal. After their whirlwind morning before the photoshoot and interviews, Gigi let the words of Nicky sink in and made an effort to put a little space between her and Crystal. After all, Crystal was a grown adult who could come find Gigi if she really needed to be comforted. There was no need to pamper her and she did truly want to spend more time with her other sisters while she had the chance. That’s not to say Crystal wasn’t mostly present in her vicinity throughout the day, it just meant that Gigi wasn’t intentionally placing herself in a position to be next to Crystal at all times. It felt like a certain pressure was off of her, getting out of her mind and enjoying the day for herself. She was surprised how easy it was to get lost in conversations with Dahlia, catching up on the LA drag scene, while listening to one of Jan’s crazy New York performance stories and making lighthearted jokes with Widow. Gigi had even fallen asleep on Jackie’s shoulder, cuddling into the queen she deemed her Aunt because of their fond relationship and Jackie’s protectiveness over her. She allowed herself to believe that while she loved Crystal dearly, Crystal was just one of her good friends - like all the other girls in the room. And if any of them would’ve woken up all disheveled and panicked like Crystal did, she would’ve been there for them in the same way. At least, that’s what she told herself. 

Unfortunately, Widow, Heidi, and Crystal had the earliest flights the following morning and were the first ones to part ways with the group. It was bittersweet, knowing the next time they were all together would be in New York for press week in all its glory, but they would still miss one another. They truly were a tight group despite any small bickers that occurred on the show. After spending most of the morning chatting with Heidi, Gigi wanting to have a conversation for the first time in person without any cameras around to apologize for their argument earlier in the season, it was basically time for the girls to leave.

“Heidi, I don’t wanna bring up a bad situation right when you’re about to leave but I just wanted to really apologize. I would never ever want to make you feel ugly in any way shape or form and the way the words came out of my mouth did not reflect how I truly felt. Me trying to defend Crystal ended up with me tearing you down and that wasn’t right. I am so proud of how far you’ve come and I really wish I would’ve just shut up.”

Heidi was one of the most understanding girls Gigi had ever met, simply smiling and saying, “I know Gigi, were sisters for life. No hard feelings. I apologize about how I handled the situation as well, it was just a sore spot and I was feeling insecure. But I know you didn’t mean to be malicious.” After a hug, Widow interrupted them swiftly, letting Heidi know they needed to leave.

Gigi’s eyes popped out of their sockets, realizing she’d barely said five words to Crystal during this entire sentimental goodbye session. They had briefly talked in the morning, having a cup of coffee on Gigi’s hotel balcony and lazily talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. Neither of them wanted to address the fact that in just a few hours, they’d be separated again. 

Crystal looked almost sheepish, approaching Gigi for a tight hug, pouring her entire heart into it.

“I’m sorry for being such a baby yesterday, but thank you for looking out for me. I miss you already and I haven’t even left yet,” Crystal laughed. 

Something in Gigi’s stomach had turned, startling her because those are the words Crystal had texted her the first time they parted ways: “I miss you already.” Gigi wondered if this was a Crystal thing to say or whether Crystal had reserved that special phrase for her only. 

“Yeah it was a real pain in the ass Crys. Try to charge your phone next time.” Gigi said in mock-annoyance to lighten the mood. Goodbyes and sad conversations were not things she was particularly fond of or good at in any form. 

At this point, Widow and Heidi were getting ready to ditch Crystal, yelling at her from inside their Uber. 

After making a funny face and squealing in nervousness Crystal swiftly kissed Gigi on the cheek, surprising the hell out of the girl, saying “Okay. I love you. Byeeeeee!”

Nothing would’ve been more Crystal than her stumbling in the lobby on the way out, almost falling on her face, and making the rest of the girls cry with laughter. 

Within the next hour, the New York girls were getting ready to leave. Gigi had been visibly aware of the fact that Crystal, who was basically sunshine in human form, was no longer with them and it felt.. almost wrong to not have her around. Jackie looked pretty serious as she snapped her fingers in front of Gigi, startling her out of her daze, and asking to chat in private.

“Whats up auntie Jackie?” Gigi laughed

“I kind of noticed something this whole time that I wanted to ask you about. You and Crystal seem to have gotten pretty close since filming. I guess I kind of wanted to know if it was something more?”

Gigi clammed up right away, looking utterly perplexed. “What do you mean? More than what?”

Jackie asked, as straightforward as ever, “Is there something going on romantically between you and Crystal? It seems like-“

Before she can even finish her thought, Gigi busts out laughing, shaking her head. Amused, she answers, “Oh! Of course not Jackie. I have a soft spot for her and I knew she was nervous about this weekend. I was just trying to be supportive.”

Jackie nodded seriously, processing what she had been told. “Alright well I love you baby Geege and if you ever need to talk, I got your back. I’ll miss you girl”

If Jackie had asked Gigi this question just twenty four hours ago, she knows she would’ve been completely overwhelmed. It was almost relieving that Jackie asked her at all, as Gigi’s initial response to laugh in her face was a further indicator that her feelings were purely platonic. Nothing more to worry about.

After a quick hug and an “I love you too” they parted ways and Gigi got in an Uber of her own, heading back to her apartment. Unsurprisingly, she was receiving play-by-play texts from Crystal about the middle aged woman arguing with a flight attendant before take off and the horrible airport food Crystal bought only to throw away seconds later. It warmed her heart to realize their long-distance texting routine would continue on until New York.


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives more of a backstory and entails more creative liberty. Since this story is heavily based on reality, it’ll be a mix of things that have really happened with my vision for the plot. Hope you enjoy!

Gigi knew that once the cast was revealed, her life would never be the same. She put on a brave face for the other girls, particularly Crystal, calming their nerves and letting them know they all deserved to be there and their drag deserves recognition. In her heart, she saw her drag getting to the cover of Vogue. Period. She was aware that could make her come across as conceited and her cold attitude didn’t really help, as she had a hard time showing her emotions and being vulnerable. Gigi was sort of in her head and Crystal was able to sense it through their texts.

Crystal: You’re not acting like yourself today. Everything okay?

Gigi knew there was no point in hiding it, feeling extra insecure and needing some comfort.

Gigi: feel a little off today. just the nerves and whatnot.

Crystal: After how many times you’ve helped me out were you seriously not going to confide in me? Feeling pretty insulted, not gonna lie.

Gigi couldn’t help but smile, knowing that was the other girls goal. 

Gigi: can’t trust anyone these days miss methyd. how do I know you’re not plotting against me? looking for my weaknesses?

Crystal: Baby you have no weaknesses, trust me.

The response caught Gigi off guard, making her blush. She wasn’t sure if this was intentionally flirty or if she was imagining things. After all, they were more like best friends than anything. They were pretty touchy and cuddly in person, but none of their text exchanges were remotely flirtatious. Until now.

Gigi: shut up.

Crystal: well.. never mind. Remember your Jackie puppet impersonation? That was pretty bad, I have to say.

Gigi was relieved Crystal went back to her normal self, becoming slightly anxious at the prospect of being confused once again about their relationship. 

Gigi: not as bad as your poppy!

Crystal: Now that was just wrong.

Gigi: i take it back! I take it back! xoxooxoxoxoxo

They went back to their usual banter for the next few days, never not texting one another, until Gigi decided to post a series of photos on her instagram out of drag. She was wearing all black, the sun perfectly hitting her face, with her hair perfectly placed with a curl right in the middle. She very rarely posted photos out of drag, mostly because she was at her peak confidence in drag and her instagram became a place where she could showcase it. However, she was feeling particularly confident about her photos and figured it would be a nice change. She was validated in seconds by her roommates gushing over her, followed by the drag race group chat losing their minds.

Jan: BITCH I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST DO THAT

Jaida: chileeeee don’t come for my gig! STUNNING 

Heidi: DAMN GIGI!!!!!

Jackie: Look at my Geege all grown up! So CUTE 

Brita: YES MAMAAA YES GAWD YES QUEEN

Crystal: and you all said she wasn’t trade of the season. smh. 

Gigi: aw LOVE LOVE LOVE you gals xoxo!

Gigi couldn’t even process their messages, feeling beyond grateful, before Crystal texted her separately. 

Crystal: Damn. 

Gigi: shut up(:

Crystal: no, really. U didn’t have to do me like that. I’m sweating.

Gigi: yeah?

Crystal: Yeah. wow. 10/10 baby

Gigi: you’re a dork.

Crystal: you love it.

Gigi: eh, I do like the compliments. got any more?

Crystal: hm.. besides not being terrible to look at, you’re also not terrible to be around. u always smell SO good.

Gigi: well I do shower. You wouldn’t know what that’s like.

Crystal: OUCH! Never complimenting you again.

Gigi was surprised to say the least at seeing Crystal’s flirty side pop up again. To put it into perspective, none of the other girls or her other friends responded quite like that. But Crystal was different. Crystal had always been different. She kind of wanted to test the limits and flirt back, but was ultimately too scared to cross a line so she played it safe. The more she thought about her decision, she regretted it. After all, she did want to flirt back just for the fun of it. She actually couldn’t stop thinking about it over the course of the next few days, all while Crystal was being her goofy self and they were having the dumbest of conversations.

That’s why she took the liberty of stalking Crystal’s instagram about a week later, realizing Crystal rarely posted any photos at all out of drag. She wondered if it was for the same reasons as her, or if there was more to the story. She was kind of curious about everything that was Crystal, seeing as she’d never met anyone quite like her in her life. Crystal had this confidence about her, knowing she was talented, but yet being so unbelievably quiet at times you could forget she was in the room. There seemed to be self-doubt, evident to Gigi because she possessed it herself, but at the same time the girl’s personality was larger than life - she was a total freak and a weirdo in only the best of ways. Gigi knew that she put on the mask of false confidence so that others wouldn’t see her flustered, would believe the fantasy that Gigi really did have it all together and was perfect at all times, while Crystal wore her heart on her sleeve. It seemed as though all of Gigi’s toxic coping mechanisms were things Crystal didn’t need, even when they struggled with similar issues. It shocked Gigi to say the least, that someone could be so strong and positive. She admired the hell out of Crystal. 

Gigi finally found a photo that literally took her breath away. It took her almost three years deep into Crystal’s instagram to find it, but she couldn’t even believe the person she was looking at. It was a transformation Tuesday picture, the left side being Crystal out of drag, and the right side being Crystal in drag. Neither side was familiar to Gigi, as both of Crystal’s appearances changed drastically. Her drag persona back then was much more fish, Crystal now is much more out there and much more..Crystal. That’s not to say Crystal didn’t look gorgeous and it was refreshing to see Crystal’s talents in a different light. The picture on the left, however, is what had Gigi practically drooling at her phone. Crystal was shirtless, her One Direction tattoo and her nipple piercing making an appearance, as well as the fact that she was sporting wet bubble-gum pink hair that fell onto her face in all the right ways. There was something about the slit in Crystal’s eyebrow that Gigi just found to be hot, there was honestly no other way she could think to put it. The nipple piercing didn’t even need explaining, but Gigi had no idea Crystal ever had pink hair. It fit her. It fit her like.. really well, Gigi thinks. She’s so used to the girl with her dorky glasses and her mullet, heart melting at the sight of it each time she sees it, but this pink hair was doing something to her. She was hot and bothered. 

So distracted by Crystal’s photo, she didn’t realize how long she had zoned out, or that Grant and her other roommate Maggie were behind her, meaning they saw exactly what she was staring at.

Grant smirked at Maggie, who gave him a knowing smile. Maggie had known Gigi since her high school days, practically watching her grow into the person she is and knew Gigi better than she knew herself at times. Grant himself was introduced to Gigi a few years later, the two instantly bonding, not to mention that he was the one in their friend group who could clock people right away. He had great instincts and was able to read people like nobody Gigi had ever known. Maggie decided it would be best for them to take the reins, knowing Grant would probably innocently make fun of Gigi and she would clam up, so they said, “Hey honey, whatcha lookin at?” 

Gigi felt her heart plummet into her stomach, completely startled at the interruption and all too aware of the physical effects Crystal’s photo was beginning to have on her. She quickly responded, “Oh, nothing. I was just looking for an embarrassing photo of Crystal to send to her,” she tried to sound as convincing as possible as she let out a small laugh.

Grant busted out into laughter, “Is that your idea of an embarrassing picture? It looks pretty hot to me.”

“Grant!” Maggie exclaimed, trying to take the heat off of Gigi, “Gi are you sure that’s what you were doing?”

Gigi knew there was no point in lying. She could trust her friends. It’s just that she didn’t even know what was going on, but she figured she could use their help anyway. 

“Well, I was never good at lying anyway” Gigi began with a sarcastic chuckle, “I hate secrets. The thing is, I have no idea what’s going on. That’s why I haven’t said anything, it’s not because I don’t trust you guys. I’m sorry if it seems that way.”

Grant gave a sympathetic nod, saying “alright well what’s going on? Finally, so I can stop pretending to not notice you smiling at your phone like an idiot all day.”

Maggie couldn’t help but laugh at that, rubbing Gigi’s back as a sign of comfort.

“Ha ha. Anyways,” Gigi started with a dramatic roll of her eyes and a crack of her neck, “Obviously Crystal and I grew super close on the show. I didn’t realize it would turn into such an attachment off the show too. Well, at least I don’t think I realized how different it would be from the rest of the girls. Everything was mostly fine until the other day when I posted those out of drag photos. I told you guys the group chat ate it up and you saw what Crystal said in there, but she said some..other things separately.”

As Gigi scrambled to put the words together, Maggie prompted her as a guide, “what’d she say? And how did it make you feel?”

Gigi nodded, “well it’d just be easier to show you I guess. Just so I don’t get anything mixed up. It made me feel..confused? I don’t know. It wasn’t like gross or weird or anything, it was just like.. unexpected and..weird. fuck. I don’t know.” Gigi knew that was a lie, as she had memorized exactly how the conversation went. She just didn’t want to have to vocalize it to her friends, but she also didn’t realize how much the two had texted because it took her a number of minutes to scroll up to their conversation from less than a week ago.

“Fuck Gigi, do you spend a moment of any day not texting Crystal?” Grant laughed, always one to crack a joke.

Gigi laughed, which changed to nervousness as soon as she handed her phone over for her friends to dissect the exchange.

Grant was absolutely eating this up, exclaiming, “BITCH Hunter and Marko don’t even speak to each other like that and they’re basically married. Get a grip.”

Gigi looked utterly perplexed, so Maggie was quick to follow, saying “Okay. Well it seems like you shut her down. Did you get nervous?”

Gigi shook her head, “I didn’t really mean to shut her down. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I thought she was flirting but I couldn’t be sure? I mean where did that come from! She’s never done something like that. She never talks like that. Maybe that’s how she talks to her other friends too? I think that’s it so I didn’t want to be all weird about it. But I wish I wouldn’t have said something that was so fucking stupid.” Gigi literally facepalms.

As Maggie asks the most serious question of the conversation thus far, “Do you think you have feelings for her?” they further explain, “Like.. did they start on the show or something? Or is this just for fun?”

Gigi thinks deeply, deciding to say, “I don’t know if I have feelings now. I definitely didn’t even think about this on the show which is why I’m so flabbergasted now. It didn’t even cross my mind, I was so focused on the competition. Then when we started texting and I was realizing how she was making me feel, I got confused. But then I realized it was just because I missed her and we got so attached after being through such a crazy thing together. Now that she did this, I’m starting to think I’ve just been trying to write off my feelings because I’m scared. I have no fucking idea.”

Grant, as intuitive as ever, chimes in “So basically now you want to try to flirt with her and see how she reacts. Which is why you went scrolling through her feed and then you found something that actually turns you on. Because bitch, let’s be clear here, you were turned on. I LOVE it! Text her now!”

Gigi laughed, finally taking a deep breath for the first time in this entire conversation. “Okay I’m gonna do it. Fuck it. I’m gonna flirt.”

Maggie and Grant make a show of cheering her on, as she swiftly goes into her own room to properly text Crystal with a clear mind, promising her friends she’d keep them updated. 

After closing her eyes for a few moments and gathering her thoughts, she does a little dance to rid herself of the anxious energy flowing through her body.

Gigi: look what I found. currently drooling. can u set me up with whoever this is?

Crystal: LMFAO how long did it take you to find that? I’m impressed. 

Gigi, kind of underwhelmed at Crystal’s answer, decided to be more direct, persisting to flirt.

Gigi: well, I know how cute u are now with that gorgeous mullet. but this is next level hot. damn.

Noticing Gigi used the same word to describe her that she used to describe Gigi, Crystal approaches the situation with much more silliness.

Crystal: damn? What happened? Cat got your tongue so bad you couldn’t think of your own word? No longer impressed.

Gigi has never answered this quickly, surprising herself as she got more comfortable.

Gigi: hot, stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, sexiest person alive, never been done before, totally unique, show-stopping, spectacular. Fuck!

Crystal: oh yeah yeah. Make a joke out of it now! Besides the sexiest person alive, I’ll definitely give you credit for that. What makes it so sexy?

Gigi: okay. your eyebrow slit. 

Crystal: is that it?

Gigi: definitely not. 

Gigi is starting to get hot all over again, not wanting to push it too far but also wanting to take it a little further than it’s been taken so far. She’s struggling to find the balance.

Gigi: your tattoo is hot. idc what it means. 

Crystal: okay, one direction doesn’t turn you on. Got it. Anything else?

Gigi: your pout. your lips look so plump and pink. also your pink hair. it looks so ridiculously good. shouldn’t be allowed.

Crystal: wow. I don’t even know what to say. 

Gigi suddenly got nervous and realized what she was doing. Time to reel it in. She definitely should delete what she typed about the nipple piercing. 

Gigi: too much?

Crystal: definitely not! Made my whole day. I think I have to go though, suddenly have to run to the store.

Gigi: (:

Gigi: oh. what for?

Crystal: pink hair dye.

Gigi: u dork. 

The thing was, when Gigi had texted Crystal this completely unexpected photo, Crystal was planning a Get Dusted event with her friends. At these types of meetings, even though they were always in her and Daegan’s shared apartment, Crystal was always professional. She was never on her phone, always zeroed in and focused on the tasks at hand because she cared so deeply about it. The other girls respected her, clearly being passionate about it as well, but Crystal took on a leadership role and really constructed it from the ground up. So they knew she felt a personal stake in the successes of the events they planned in a way they didn’t. Upon seeing Crystal completely zoned in on her phone, which only happens when they’re relaxing and never when they’re talking about business, the girls were completely shocked. 

“Um.. Crystal? What’s going on?” Daya lightly pressed. She was scared it had been something serious at first because nothing really ever took Crystal’s attention away from these things.

When Crystal’s face lit up in a grin, the girls took a visible sigh of relief. Crystal didn’t notice any of it. Well, that was until Lux started banging on the table.

“Hello! Earth to Crystal!” After hearing Lux’s voice, Crystal snapped out of it, looking sheepishly at them. “Oh I’m sorry. I was feeling uninspired and then Gigi texted me so I got distracted!”

“Bitch, Gigi is always texting you. What’s so different about it this time?” Daegan commented, looking like she was not buying Crystal’s relaxed nature. She knew how awful Crystal was with keeping up with their texts, as well as her family’s, her other friends, and her drag race group chat. So how was it that she always found the time for Gigi? The whole situation was fishy to say the least, but Daegan knew that Crystal was not in the place for a relationship. She wasn’t looking for a relationship, going as far as to avoid any connection that could possibly be made.

Daegan was there through Crystal’s entire past relationship, the only really serious relationship Crystal had ever been in with a guy named Drew. He didn’t particularly understand her drag when she began doing it, nor did he take the time to support her. He came from a very conservative family who had just gotten around to accepting him, which oftentimes made Crystal feel like she was a burden. She knew it wasn’t his fault, but he had trouble not acting ashamed to be close in public or making her feel special. Crystal would have been able to deal with it all, or so she told herself, because she truly loved him more than she loved herself. Her friends knew it wasn’t the best situation with her making excuses for Drew most of the time, all until he decided he would rather be single. Crystal couldn’t wrap her head around someone who was crazy about her in the beginning of their relationship, constantly talking about the future and all the things they wanted to do together - travel the world, move in with one another, even have a shared pet, who had ended up simply saying he fell out of love with her. Did she do something wrong? It seemed like the more she embraced herself and grew into all of her uniqueness, he pushed away. Daegan and Lux were ready to kill him when they saw Crystal just hours after the breakup, looking like her heart had been completely shattered. Daya, on the other hand, embraced her for what felt like hours, kissing her forehead and telling her it would be okay. That was two years ago and the most important takeaway Crystal had from this disaster was that if she had to lessen the value of herself in order to love someone else, it just wasn’t worth it. She was much happier falling in love with herself, pouring her heart and soul into her passions with her best friends and focusing on her career. It took her a while to even take someone home from the bar, but when she finally did it was liberating. It was refreshing that someone desired her while she was at her peak self, performing in drag and being a total goof with her friends. Daegan, Lux, and Daya were perhaps even more thrilled than she was, but that slowly faded when they had realized how adamant she was about not being in another serious relationship. It was almost as if she convinced herself that falling in love with another person would mean falling out of love with herself, as she had only known a love that was conditional and she didn’t want to sacrifice her self-growth for another person ever again.

“Gigi just found an old picture of me,” Crystal laughed, “the one with my pink hair! I look hot!”

The other girls joined in the laughter while Crystal excused herself to use the bathroom.

“Do you guys think something is going on?” Lux subtlety whispered.

“I think so. But we shouldn’t say anything to freak her out. This seems very fragile.” Daya appeared stressed, worrying that if they were to crack a joke or ask a personal question, Crystal would shut them down and become insecure in whatever her relationship really was with Gigi.

“Yeah my guess is the only reason Crystal is acting this way is because she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. We’ll all know when she gets hit in the face with reality. Until then, no prying. Or, at least, don’t make it too obvious.” Daegan laughed, as she was dying to know what the two talked about all day without either of them noticing how the other made them feel. She knew it could truly be platonic, maybe on Gigi’s end, but she hasn’t seen Crystal this happy in a long time. She knew something changed. 

Gigi went to bed that night feeling proud of herself for having fun with Crystal, finally allowing herself to just go with the flow instead of overthinking everything. How was she supposed to sort through her feelings if she didn’t dare to cross a line that would help her figure them out? What she didn’t expect was to wake up to Crystal’s flirting once again. She could just feel the difference in Crystal’s tone, same as she did when Crystal flirted the first time.

Crystal: Hey cutie

Gigi: what are you twelve? am I really just cute to you?

Crystal: Hey beautiful.

Crystal: that better?

Gigi blushed profusely, literally having no idea what this meant for them. She couldn’t help the way her brain automatically panicked, but she tried her best to fight through it. She just really didn’t want anything becoming weird between the two, especially if she was misreading signals. After all, she had no idea about Crystal’s past relationships or how flirty she was with her other friends. She did sort of see Crystal’s flirty side in the group-chat with the other girls, but nothing like this.

Gigi: much better. now I can start the day off blushing. that was really sweet(:

Crystal: anything for you! Now, can I please send you a video of the cats in front of my apartment fighting with tictac? 

Gigi: hahaha are you kidding? OF COURSE. 

They continued their daily conversations like so, Gigi becoming a little bit more courageous in calling Crystal ‘baby’ every so often and telling her how cute she is. She knew she wasn’t good with words, or knew the status of their relationship, so she was trying her best to seem interested without being too eager. It felt like a mind game at times, but mostly they bantered normally without the pressure of potential romance. Gigi’s favorite moments were Crystal sending her funny videos of her dancing, or the two of them watching movies with one another on FaceTime. She tried her best to just enjoy Crystal, no labels or strings attached. Gigi would take Crystal any way she could get her. 


	4. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 3 of my fic, things are about to take off! This may be the chapter I enjoyed writing the most and is the longest. I hope you like it!

Before they knew it, it was time for press week in New York. Their Ruveal had happened just days ago and their group-chat conversations were nonstop, all the girls excited to be able to share this secret and to see the initial reactions of fans. It was funny how wrong people were based on first impressions, it becoming a running joke in the chat that a number of people believed Dahlia could win, along with Nicky and Rock. The girls knew the eliminations would be shocking, but the sheer amount of shock was still unbeknownst to them. 

Gigi felt like a kid on the night before their first day at school after a long summer break. She was giddy and excited and anxious all in one - she hardly slept. She was so wired, partly because she couldn’t wait to see Crystal. She wanted to see how she would feel in person with the other girl for the first time since their relationship escalated slightly due to their more forward texts. Gigi honestly figured it wouldn’t change at all, Crystal would always be Crystal, but it would be a good indicator as to how she was feeling. The last time Crystal was in LA for the photoshoots and interviews, Gigi was only beginning to have feelings and could not understand what they meant for the life of her. Now, she was slightly more open-minded and was dying to have some form of clarity. But, seeing as everything in her life did not have to revolve around Crystal Methyd, Gigi was self-aware enough to realize she was also excited to see her sisters and be able to interact with fans - introducing herself to the world and showing who she really is.

This was important to her because she knew she could come off slightly cold and robotic, so she wanted to give off more of her personality. Especially because she wasn’t sure what role she would fit into through all of the editing in the show. She knew she didn’t do anything too drastic to be hated or to be a villain, but you never know what could be done. 

Dahlia and Gigi, the only two currently in LA, flew together to New York. Dahlia made sure to comment that Gigi looked as though she hadn’t slept all night, joking that she would need more makeup than usual to hide the bags under her eyes. Gigi rolled her eyes, knowing it was well worth it staying up late talking to Crystal. The two had texted until the hours of the morning, only pausing for about four hours to get some rest, then swiftly picking back up the moment Gigi awoke and was able to text back. Crystal, on the other hand, completely regretted her choice to stay up so late because she knew how lazy she would feel in the morning. She hated feeling lazy and really didn’t want a repeat of her first day in LA where she overslept. She wanted to be on top of it and make the most out of her trip.

After hours of travel, Crystal made her way to her fancy hotel in New York City, so overwhelmed with her surroundings and not knowing exactly where to go first. The New York girls had promised to show them around all the best spots, as Nicky even got some of the girls a gig at a club nearby the following night. Crystal was so starstruck by the big city, it creating a feeling inside of her that she couldn’t put into words. There was magic in it, the silent promise of dreams coming true and countless adventures to be had. As the day faded by, all the girls were having dinner in the hotel besides Gigi and Dahlia, as their flight got delayed. Gigi was also slightly disappointed that she couldn’t text Crystal, all of that changing once she was able to receive messages and saw that Crystal had been updating her throughout the day. Her heart melted.

Crystal (10:32am EDT): Hi babes I know you’re probably on your plane. I just got off mine, this airport is CRAZY! I think I’m lost. Just wanted to send you updates and love! xoxo.

Crystal (11:46am EDT): Alright. If you could believe it took this long, I JUST got in my Uber. I’m pretty sure JFK is bigger than all of Springfield. I couldn’t find where to get my luggage or where the proper exit was! I’m sweating but still so excited to see YOU! xoxo.

Crystal (12:58pm EDT): Okay so I made it to the hotel. Currently laying on my bed but I’m too excited to take a nap, I guess all my laziness wore off the second I got to the BIG APPLE wohoo! I can’t wait for you to see this. It’s almost as glamorous as you. xoxo.

Crystal (2:42pm EDT): So I lied about being too excited to nap. The NY girls just got here, and the others should be here soon! Don’t tell anyone, but I’m most excited to see you. xoxo.

Crystal (3:16pm EDT): The other girls are here!!!!! Now we’re just missing you and Dahlia. The NY girls promised to show us around, but we all (mostly me) insisted that we wait for you guys to do all the fun stuff. So we’re just aimlessly walking around the blocks near the hotel. But don’t worry if you’re jealous, we can totally do this later. xoxo. 

Crystal (4:24pm EDT): This is so dumb! Where are YOU?? I thought we were gonna have the whole day together. I tripped on the sidewalk and nobody helped me up :(. xoxo.

Crystal (5:56pm EDT): Okay so we’re having a fancy dinner in the hotel soon, I really hope you make it in time! I just got out of the shower feeling GORGEOUS. Maybe i’ll smell as nice as you. xoxo. ps: nobody can smell as good as you.

Crystal (7:50pm EDT): So we finished dinner and we tracked your flight. Saw you got delayed. I’m sorry:( I hope you’re not too upset. We still have an AMAZING week to look forward to, so keep your pretty little head up. xoxo.

Gigi wanted to burst into tears out of pure adoration. Not only did Crystal manage to make her feel better after being beyond fucking frustrated the entire day, from being trapped on that plane with noisy kids kicking the back of her seat, to realizing she practically missed the entire first day with the other girls, to feeling nauseous from not properly eating anything all day, but she was also able to sense that Gigi would need a bit of comfort. The xoxo at the end of, literally every message, made Gigi blush, appreciating the thought and the effort Crystal put in when it wasn’t necessary at all. The girl could have enjoyed the day completely off of her phone, but she wanted to make Gigi feel included. Gigi felt so special.

Gigi: I fucking love you. I love you I love you I love you! I’m going to give you the biggest hug you’ve ever gotten Crystal Methyd.

Crystal: just a hug ? Ouch.

Gigi: and a big wet kiss. 

Crystal: That’s more like it!

Crystal: Please tell me you’re close! Everyone misses you guys. Jan told me to tell you that she promises she’s going to show you the most fun time of your life once you get here. 

Gigi: yes, we’re on our way! should be about 30-45 minutes. ahhhh!

Gigi: oh and Crystal?

Crystal: Yeah?

Gigi: thank you. seriously. you made my day so much better. 

Crystal: xoxo.

The girls decided, after a half an hour of waiting in Heidi’s hotel room, to wait outside for Gigi and Dahlia, showering them in love and positivity as soon as they could. Upon seeing the 20th Uber in a row, the girls stopped their excitement that the others had finally arrived, becoming tired of getting their hopes up and probably looking insane to whoever was actually in the Ubers. When the 21st actually pulled over in front of the hotel and Dahlia’s face popped out from the window, yelling, “We made it bitches,” the other girls jumped up and down like lunatics. They practically mobbed the car, helping the girls take out their luggage and hugging them as if they hadn’t seen them in years. Gigi was much more tired than Dahlia, Crystal being the only one to know she had stayed up practically all of last night, and was more sluggish in getting her bags. Jackie was the first to envelope her in a hug, picking her up for a piggy back ride, chanting, “I got my baby Geege again! All is right in the world!” Gigi couldn’t help but erupt in laughter, feeling the chilling breeze of the New York night air hitting her face, rejuvenating her in exactly the way she desperately needed it to. Jackie noticed Crystal staring at Gigi looking like a puppy dog who had just been reunited with its owner, basically bursting with excitement. She decided to subtly plop Gigi on the sidewalk right next to Crystal, practically hand delivering her. Gigi didn’t stay on the ground for long, as Crystal lifted her up in a fierce hug. Gigi laughed so loud, so happily, that every single one of the girls gave her a side eye, smiling at the moment the two were having.

When Crystal finally set her down, for good this time, Gigi gave her a big wet kiss on her cheek just as promised.

Seeing Crystal’s grin, Gigi commented “is that everything you hoped it would be?” 

Crystal laughed and nodded, “Everything and more! Do you feel up for taking a walk with some of the other girls? I bet you’re hungry, they have like.. real food on every street corner here. We can get pizza!”

Crystal was bursting with excitement, suddenly shrinking into herself with the fear that she overwhelmed the other girl. Gigi, on the other hand, felt a wave of relief wash over her, realizing that Crystal was excited to see her and things would be more than normal - they would be perfect. 

“Yes that sounds perfect. Whose going to be our New York tour guide? I believe Ms. Sport offered me a fun time?”

Crystal gasped, pretending to be insulted, “How rude! You don’t think I could give you a good enough tour?”

Gigi quipped, “Well apparently you didn’t know food stands were a thing that existed in New York, so I’m assuming you don’t know much about the city! Maybe when we do our next big press run in Springfield you can take the reins.”

Crystal laughed and replied “I knew about food stands you goof. I just didn’t know they were on EVERY street corner! That’s crazy!”

Jan, Jackie, Heidi, Aiden, Crystal, and Gigi went their separate ways from the others in favor of waking the streets. Jaida, Dahlia, Widow, Brita, Rock, and Nicky ventured to the bar inside the hotel, not feeling up to freezing their assess off and walking aimlessly. Crystal and Gigi walked behind the others, partly because Gigi was spent from her annoyingly long day and partly because they were excited to spend some time together. 

“I can’t believe we’re in New York City! This feels like a dream!” Crystal said, sounding so amazed it made Gigi really reflect on how incredible this experience was going to be.

“A dream you say? Has the city lived up to all your expectations so far? It’s fucking freezing, but I guess it’s beautiful too,” Gigi lightheartedly added.

“Absolutely! The best part is that you’re finally here. It didn’t feel right without you honestly, I just wanted to stop time until you got here. I felt bad knowing you were trapped on an airplane, but let’s not focus on the negatives! ahh! Do you want a pizza? I’ve been dying to try the pizza.”

Gigi laughed, knowing Crystal was never one to dwell on the negatives, but her heart warmed nonetheless hearing the other girl acknowledge her frustrations. Crystal made her feel seen in a weird way, like she never had to directly go through the troubles of explaining how she felt, which she hated more than anything, because Crystal understood. 

“Yes please get me something to fucking eat! I’d eat the damn gum off the sidewalk at this point.”

“Gross,” Crystal exclaimed, “but are you hinting that I have to treat you? Is this a date or something that I wasn’t aware of?”

Gigi clammed up right away desperately racking her brain for a quick remark, responding, “well it’s only right honestly. And after your texts, I figure we’re basically dating at this point anyway.”

“Hey! Don’t tell anyone about those texts, I’ll never hear the end of it. I’ll buy you all the pizza you want.” Crystal laughed, sporting a grin that made Gigi’s knees weak. 

As the night wore on and the girls finally reached the floor of their hotel rooms, Crystal decided to walk Gigi to her room. 

“Chivalrous as always Ms. Methyd,” Gigi quipped.

“Anything for you, madam Goode.”

“Are you going to be able to wake up early enough for our call time? Or should I break into your hotel room this time?”

“Haha. I’ve already set my alarms. But don’t think I don’t have major anxiety that I’m going to oversleep and then not have any time to get ready or eat breakfast. Or that I just won’t make it at all and I’ll ruin the beginning of press week. Or that someone will be mad and think I’m a diva. And not in the good way.”

Gigi could tell that Crystal started that off as a joke, but it quickly turned into her very real worry that she would somehow fuck something up. Gigi came up with an idea as to how to alleviate Crystal’s worries.

Without even thinking twice, Gigi began, “Orrrr”

“Or?” Crystal seemed confused.

“Or you can just sleep in my room with me. I mean you don’t have to, but I never sleep through an alarm and I can promise to wake you up much nicer than the dreadful alarm clock noise on your phone. I don’t mind.”

“Really? Are you sure?” Crystal asked, always worried she may be a burden.

Gigi gave her a comforting smile, “Of course I’m sure you dork. Especially after all your messages today. And besides, I’m sure we would’ve spent the rest of the night texting anyway.”

“You just can’t get enough of me huh?”

“Don’t make me change my mind.” Gigi dragged Crystal into her room, elated at the thought of not having to part ways with the girl who was having a massive impact on her heart.

Once they were comfortably in their pajamas and turned the lights off, the two spent the next two hours softly chatting about anything and everything that came to mind, brushing hands and entwining their legs together under the covers. It was an intimacy Crystal had almost forgotten existed, but it felt nice. She was sort of surprised it didn’t scare her, to be this close to someone, anyone, again even if it wasn’t in a romantic way. But all she knew was that she felt safe with Gigi and when she was with the girl, nothing too scary would happen. 

After having the perfect night’s rest, the last thing Gigi expected was the single most awkward morning exchange with Jackie Cox. Gigi woke up five minutes earlier than her alarm, making sure to turn it off so that it didn’t wake the other girl. Crystal’s head was on her shoulder, their legs still wrapped in one another’s. Gigi decided it wouldn’t kill her to lay there for a few extra moments, basking in the warmth radiating off of the other girl’s body. She decided to take a quick shower before waking her up, as Crystal had just looked so peaceful and content that Gigi didn’t have the heart to disturb her until it was absolutely necessary. She never checked the time so much in her life, making sure to give Crystal enough time to calmly get ready without having to rush, while still giving her all the extra sleep she possibly could. Gigi couldn’t recall a time she went to these lengths to care for anyone else, but it felt nice. She was in her own thoughts, quietly humming in the bathroom, when there was a knock on her door. She quickly threw a towel around her hips, practically lunging at the door in order to get whoever the fuck was knocking to quit it before they disturbed Crystal. She was planning on waking the other girl up in a cutesy way and she would be damned if the girl was startled by something as obnoxious as a fist banging on a door. 

“Yes? What’s going on?” Gigi whispered extra quietly.

“Oh um hey Gi I was just-“ Jackie began but was immediately cut off.

“Shhhhhh not so loud!” Gigi opened the door enough to squeeze out of it, having no issue with stepping into the hallway in just a towel, skin still dripping slightly from her shower.

“Um is someone in there or something? And are you showering? Oh my god Geege did you sleep with someone?”

Gigi was beyond mortified, only realizing how bad this all looked when those words left Jackie’s mouth.

“What? Are you out of your mind? Of course not!” Gigi was quick to respond, “Crystal slept in my room because she was anxious about oversleeping again. I just didn’t want you to wake her. And I’m showering like a normal person because I didn’t get to shower last night.” 

Jackie couldn’t help but laugh, “Alright if that’s your story!”

Gigi huffed, “It is.”

Jackie put her hands up in mock defense, “I’m just messing with you. I know you’re the only one besides Jan and I who willingly wakes up in the morning. We were going to go down for breakfast and wanted to see if you wanted to join, but maybe your breakfast is currently in your bed?”

Gigi turned redder than a damn siren at that, not even knowing what to say other than, “Jackie! Oh my God. If you don’t mind, I’ll wake my FRIEND Crystal up and see what she wants to do. Say a word of this to her and i’ll kill you.”

When Jackie finally left, Gigi threw on a pair of shorts and climbed into bed as quietly as possible.

She gently took the blanket off of Crystal who, thankfully, was still sound asleep. Gigi couldn’t help but stare in awe at how cute she looked. She then proceeded to rub Crystal’s upper arm, kissing her cheek a few times, and whispering for her to wake up. 

“Hey Crys it’s time to wake up babe. Come on.”

As soon as Crystal opened her eyes, well she actually opened one eye first secretly making Gigi swoon, Gigi said, “good morning honey you’re nice and early. No rush.”

Crystal groaned at first, stretching her body and shaking her head in order to wake herself up. Then she looked at Gigi for a brief moment before giving her a smile full of gratitude. 

“So I don’t want to overwhelm you or anything but Jackie and Jan invited us to breakfast in a few if you’re up for it. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to though.”

“We?” Crystal questioned.

Immediately, Gigi blushed, saying “Oh. Well I mean if you want to stay here I can go myself or well.. I mean.. I don’t know?”

Crystal laughed, “sorry I was just kidding around. Do you think it would be gross to take like.. a five minute shower? I don’t really have to wash my hair anyway.”

“No, I do not think that would be gross. Do you want to do that now?”

“Well.. not really. Do you think we can just lay here for a few? I’m still kind of sleepy and if I shower like this I might as well not shower at all it’ll just be super lazy.”

“we sure can. I think I woke up a little too early and I haven’t had any coffee yet. But the view is perfect,” Gigi said while looking out of the window seeing all of the city buildings in their morning glory.

“Aw I know you think I’m hot Gi but you don’t have to call me perfect. We all have our flaws.”

Gigi didn’t respond, just playfully hit Crystal’s chest, which ended up working in her favor because Crystal just held onto her hand and rested it on her chest while she lightly massaged it.

Gigi was in pure bliss and did not care about a single thing in the world. Until her stupid fucking phone had to ring and ruin the moment a few minutes later.

“If you don’t stop doing this I’ll never get up.”

“Well, I guess all good things must come to an end. Let me hop in the shower real quick and i’ll meet you and the girls downstairs.”

After breakfast, they all went back to their individual rooms to get in drag and then met back up to get in the van that would take them to a list of locations. Crystal sat next to Jaida and ahead of her, Gigi sat next to Nicky. They spent the ride there, as well as their time inside all of the buildings in between interviews, mostly with the other girls simply because they were a big group and it was almost impossible to stay with one person. On top of the fact that they were being pulled into various groups for different interviews, oftentimes not being in the same group. It was nice to mix it up and spend quality time, even if it was in front of cameras and random people on random sets, with one another and play silly games. 

The girls were buzzing with excitement that they would be able to let loose that night, all together while some of them performed. Nicky got herself, as well as Jaida and Crystal, booked at a well-known club and it would be both Jaida and Crystal’s first time performing in New York. Gigi wasn’t sure if Crystal would be nervous, but she was impressed to find that Crystal was extremely confident in her ability to entertain and just appeared to be ready to have a good time. The other girls decided to go out in non-drag after being in drag all day because of the interviews, so while the three upcoming performers headed to the venue to get ready and prep, the other girls hung around the hotel and visited some of the nearby stores. 

Jan and Gigi decided to grab lunch at a cute retro diner not too far from the hotel. Jan is someone that was always having a good time and could always lift Gigi’s spirits, even when they didn’t necessarily need to be lifted. Gigi considered Jan to be one of the girls she was closest to, but they didn’t have too many one-on-one heart-to-hearts or anything, until now.

“Yeah so I didn’t want to make a big thing of this in front of the other girls or anything, but Jackie obviously told me about what happened this morning. It’s not a big deal girl, actually I kind of love the idea of you two together, but no pressure. Is there something going on? Spill! well, only spill if you want.” Jan encouraged.

Gigi honestly didn’t know what to say. So she was as honest as possible without giving too much information.

“No, nothing is going on. We are really close, as I’m sure everyone picked up on. We just clicked right away and are making the most out of the time we have together since these drag race events are the only times we see each other. But nothing like..more than friendly has happened. Does it come off that way?” Gigi was secretly dying to know the answer to this. It would be interesting to hear an outside perspective from someone who knew both Gigi and Crystal well.

“I mean it’s definitely clear you two are the closest. I don’t want to make it weird for you or anything, but the lines are definitely blurred in my eyes. Like, if you told me the two of you have been hooking up or seeing each other, I wouldn’t be shocked. But you telling me nothing is going on also isn’t shocking. This experience made us all super close so I get it.”

That didn’t particularly help Gigi as much as she had hoped, but it was nice to know she wasn’t completely crazy and the idea of her and Crystal together wasn’t totally out there. 

Gigi didn’t realize she wouldn’t see Crystal until her performance, growing more and more excited to see all of the girls perform for the first time. The place was fairly small, so the girls were scattered around everywhere. Brita, Widow, and Gigi were behind the stage by the time Crystal’s performance rolled around. Gigi expected to be nervous for Crystal’s sake, just hoping the girl had a good time and the audience was supportive, but by the time she loosened up and just relaxed, the more she realized Crystal would kill it and have fun. She had no idea what the performance would entail, as Crystal was being super secretive about it. When “Womanizer” by Britney Spears started playing, Gigi lit up knowing it was a perfect pick. Crystal made sure to go around as much as she could, interacting with as many people as possible, but she made sure towards the beginning of the performance to go towards the back and sing directly to Gigi. Gigi, on the other hand, was completely enthralled by the girl, intoxicated by her energy and frankly forgot there was a room full of people. She wished the moment could have lasted longer, as Crystal quickly made her way to the other side of the venue. She decided to do something about it, realizing she wanted to tip Crystal anyway so when Brita encouraged the girls to go towards the stage, Gigi didn’t hesitate. At first she was sure Crystal didn’t see her, but the pair’s eyes immediately locked and Crystal began dancing for Gigi, never losing eye contact as she swiveled her hips and seduced the other girl. Gigi felt like she was stuck in her spot, her mouthing the words to the song the sole thing keeping her together, until she felt Widow’s shoulder brush up against hers in order to tip Crystal as well. It was as if something clicked inside of Gigi at that moment, as she realized even if she never met Crystal before this moment, she was turned on and frankly wanted nothing more than to show Crystal the effect she was having on her. There was something about the rawness of the moment, Crystal being so sexy and sensual and rawly confident as opposed to her usual goofy self, that was doing something to Gigi. The fact that Gigi also loved Crystal for who she was out of drag, without the glam and the persona, only made her acknowledge the fact that she wasn’t just feeling this way because of a moment in a club, but it was the result of pent up feelings that were being neglected. 

After the performances, Jaida, Crystal, and Nicky decided to get out of drag and then meet the others at a different club just a few blocks away. They had never gone out together so everyone was excited to keep the night going and have a good time. At this point, whenever Gigi thought of Crystal she became overwhelmed. She wanted to make a move that night, especially after Crystal’s performance, but naturally just as it’s always been with Crystal, she had absolutely no idea how the other girl felt. She felt as though if she thought about it much more she would probably cry, so she decided to fully give herself to her surroundings and focus on the other girls, determined to have the best night she possibly could with her sisters.

Aiden was slightly buzzed, coming out of her shell completely and being quite talkative, making the other girls laugh. Widow and Heidi were dancing through the streets, as Dahlia and Jan were taking videos on snapchat completely obsessed with themselves, and Brita was cheering along Rock who was doing something embarrassing. Gigi was walking behind all of them with Jackie, as Jackie was protectively making sure they all stuck together and fully immersing herself in the “mom” role she so often took on. 

“Is everything okay with you? I appreciate your company supervising everyone else, but you’re usually doing something weird with Rock that I don’t really understand.” Jackie laughed.

“Yeah I’ll let her have this one. I’m good, just soaking it all in. I’m excited to just have a fucking good time and let my hair down,” Gigi sounded as though she was trying to escape her thoughts, so Jackie didn’t push the matter. But she did note that she should probably keep an eye out on Gigi, as the girl was always put together. Not to say Gigi wasn’t a good time, but this seemed different to Jackie, as it felt like there was something on the tip of Gigi’s tongue she wasn’t saying.

An hour later and all the girls were in the club, Brita being able to score them a VIP area so they were pretty much secluded from everyone else. It was tight, but cozy and all the girls were letting loose. Ironically, the one’s Gigi figured would completely go crazy, like Rock and Widow, were the ones who were more introverted, while Jackie and Jaida were probably the most carefree. The most free-spirited, though, was unsurprisingly Crystal as she was making a total fool of herself doing the most awkward dances possible and making everyone crack up. Gigi was grateful it was nearly impossible to have a conversation with anyone, especially Crystal who wouldn’t sit down for more than twenty seconds, because she didn’t even want to think of what to say to anyone. She was mostly dancing with Jan, completely feeling herself and not worrying about anyone else around her. Only Girl in the World came on, making Dahlia and Jaida absolutely lose their minds dancing on two of the four smaller tables that were scattered around the area, as the other two tables were filled with all sorts of bottles. Gigi was lost in the music, noticing Crystal glance over to her once or twice. She decided to maintain eye contact long enough to sing some of the song, similarly to what Crystal chose to do in her performance earlier in the night. Face completely sensual, Gigi mouthed the lyrics, “Like I’m the only one that’s in command, ‘cause I’m the only one who understands; how to make you feel like a man, yeah; Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.” Gigi was rubbing her hands up and down her body while singing, deciding to make a bold move by winking at Crystal. The other girl smiled at her and Gigi figured the ball would be in Crystal’s court after that, as she didn’t even realize how suggestive she was being. As if she wasn’t already lost in the music, Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” came on, leaving Gigi no choice but to get on the table as she sang as loud as she could, “And, man, I feel like a woman,” while all of the girls surrounded her and cheered her on. She was basically having the time of her life, singing along to perhaps the gayest songs to exist, with a group of girls that felt like family. Gigi was periodically glancing at Crystal, whose demeanor seemed to slightly shift when the song “Damaged” by Danity Kane came on. Gigi fucking loved this song, maybe not as much as Jan, but she realized that by the time the chorus hit, Crystal wasn’t even dancing. She was pouring a drink, which would’ve been perfectly normal, but Gigi could sense that the words were actually impacting her. It was such a small change in attitude that Gigi wasn’t surprised in the slightest that none of the other girls clocked it, as they weren’t looking obsessively at Crystal throughout the night like she was. It made her wonder if this was the first clue she was being given as to what Crystal’s past looked like. Being a little too tipsy to dwell on it, all Gigi wanted was to ensure Crystal would continue having a good time, so she visibly sighed in relief when Crystal started singing along to the end of the song, lighting up at the beginning of “No Scrubs.” Gigi took it upon herself to physically point at Crystal during the chorus, dancing like a total dork in an effort to make the girl laugh. Crystal, as well as the other girls that were watching her, couldn’t stop laughing and it made her happy to know she could lift the mood subtly for the girl and continue the good time for everyone else. 

A few songs later, “Buttons” by the Pussycat Dolls came on and Gigi was fully feeling herself. She was pulling out all of her sensual dance moves, doing body rolls to the beat of the song, jokingly yet seriously moaning along to the song along with Jan. When she looked up at Jan, she saw Crystal behind the girl. Crystal was full on staring at her. Like, totally unashamed looking as if she was enjoying the view. Gigi was getting unbearably tired of the distance between the two, secretly waiting all night for Crystal to come over to her. She didn’t want to be too forward and just really wanted to feel wanted. She wanted to feel like she wasn’t crazy and she wanted to know that the chemistry she was feeling was being felt on the other end as well. She very directly began singing to Crystal for the third time that night, it being the second serious attempt she was making as the “No Scrubs” serenade was more of a joke to get the girl to laugh. This finally did the trick, however, as towards the very end of the song Crystal made her way over.

She lightly put her arms on Jan’s shoulders, excusing herself in an effort to get to Gigi.

“Hey,” Crystal breathily yelled in Gigi’s ear, trying to make sure the girl could hear her.

“Hey you,” Gigi responded immediately.

“You look really good.” Gigi isn’t sure she’s ever heard this tone in Crystal’s voice, as the girl usually sounded pretty high-pitched and always spoke with a slight sense of humor, coming off quite timid. This time, her voice was lower and she was extremely direct. It took Gigi’s breath away.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Crystal responded, adding a few seconds later, “Do you wanna come by the wall? It’s too crowded over here.”

Gigi just nodded, letting Crystal take her hands as Jan was already freaking out that an Ariana Grande song was beginning to play and she began getting lost in the music with Brita and Heidi.

Gigi decided to lean her back against the wall, singing along to “Into You” while lightly swaying. Crystal was extremely close to her, gradually getting closer and closer, just to move further away. Gigi’s brain couldn’t string a coherent thought together, much less find any words to say to Crystal. Her mind was completely blank, focusing only on the smell of lavender on Crystal’s button up shirt and the light beads of sweat on her forehead. When it all became too much and Gigi, accidentally, grabbed Crystal’s shirt, edging her to come closer, Crystal put her hands on Gigi’s face with a feather light touch. She quickly glanced at Gigi’s lips, then to her eyes, and back to her lips. Upon seeing Gigi’s small nod and noticing her begin to lightly pant, Crystal closed the distance between the two. The kiss was soft at first, almost as if the two were scared to actually commit to it. 

Crystal pulled away first, always the worrier, asking “Is this okay?”

Gigi didn’t want to waste another second talking, immediately answering “Yes just kiss me,” before practically lunging at Crystal, who steadied herself by placing her left hand on the wall next to Gigi’s head. 

The two could have been kissing for twenty seconds or twenty minutes, as all Gigi could process was how good Crystal’s tongue felt in her mouth and, to her surprise, what an intricate kisser Crystal was. She was constantly surprising Gigi, constantly changing pace and direction, while keeping the passion at a high level throughout. It felt like fireworks going off in Gigi’s stomach, all the pent up tension finally dissipating. Everything was perfect until Rock accidentally ruined the moment, knocking into Crystal which led to Crystal being pushed all the way up against Gigi’s body.

“Fuck are you okay?” Crystal asked right away.

Gigi lightly laughed, trying her best not to lose it and scream at Rock for sabotaging her, saying “Yes I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Rock looked like a deer caught in headlights, right away fumbling over her words trying to get the most sincere apology out, “Oh my god I’m so sorry I tripped over Heidi’s bag and the girls threatened me not to come over here and interrupt you but that’s exactly what I did. I was only trying to get a drink I’m really sorry you guys I-“

“Rock. Chill. It’s fine, no worries.” Gigi said, trying her best to be nice because she knew it wasn’t malicious at all, she was just frustrated and didn’t want to take it out on poor Rock who already felt bad enough as it was.

“Yeah. I think the other girls are getting ready to leave in a few anyway.” Crystal added, as Gigi was being pulled away by Nicky to dance to another song. So much for a private moment. 

A handful of minutes later, the girls called three Ubers, Gigi heading in one with Jan, Heidi, and Jaida, while Crystal ended up with Aiden, Widow, and Jackie. Both groups of girls were too preoccupied with taking care of the girls who were more drunk than others, resting after their long night, and making small talk to even ask about the kiss. Gigi was grateful for that because her head was spinning and it was no shock to her that she had no idea what Crystal was thinking.


	5. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is here! Thank you so much for all of the love, it means so much that you take the time to read this as well as give me feedback. These next few chapters are truly the heart of the story, so I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them(:

The two didn’t see each other for the rest of that night, Crystal lazily crashing in Jaida’s room while Gigi ended up with Heidi and Jan. All the girls, even Jackie, decided to skip breakfast in favor of meeting up for an early lunch, knowing their day was going to start later than the first anyway so they had time to recover from the previous night. When all the girls met up, Crystal put Gigi to ease right away by making a joke about Jaida talking in her sleep, cracking all of the girls up. Gigi was sure things were returning to normal, disappointed that she got her hopes up that Crystal would be affectionate with her after the line they crossed the night before. All she got, though, was a quick question before she returned to her room to get dressed for the day. 

“Hey, you had fun last night right? You’re a good time Ms. Goode!” Crystal laughed.

“Yeah. It was fun.” Gigi giggled, hoping this was leading to something more serious.

“Cool. I figured. I just didn’t want to make it weird by not talking about it! Ah but maybe this is weird? Anyway my friends back home wanted me to have a one night stand in New York if I had the chance. Maybe I’ll find some random tonight! Still deciding how I feel.”

Crystal was so casual about her comments, not understanding in any capacity the way they hurt Gigi. Frankly, Gigi couldn’t believe a word she was hearing. This was the most direct indication she could possibly ask for that Crystal didn’t see their kiss as anything other than a drunken good time. 

“Well it’s not weird at all so don’t stress. If you want a messy one night stand, good luck to ya!” Gigi tried to be as lighthearted as possible, feeling like the seconds were turning into hours before she could lock the door to her hotel room and feel like a complete idiot. 

She went through the interviews of the day totally grateful that most of them were big group interviews where she didn’t have to be alone with, or even near Crystal. It’s not exactly that she felt betrayed, it was more that she desperately needed more time to reflect on the situation and figure out if she would truly be okay with Crystal being with someone else. If Crystal wanted to hook up with someone else, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But Gigi couldn’t help but think that after their shared kiss, she didn’t want to touch anyone else. She knew she was on a different page than the other girl and that realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Soon enough, the girls were back in their hotel rooms getting ready. Gigi chose to take a nap in her room, but when she couldn’t fall asleep after tossing and turning for a couple of minutes, she decided to take a walk around a few blocks to clear her head, letting the cold wintry air blow in her face, reminding her that she was in a beautiful place in her life and she was lucky to be there. Despite her emotional issues, she felt extremely fortunate to be in this position and realized that she could rely on one of her sisters to help her sort through this mess.

That’s how she ended up sending Jackie a quick text asking her if she wanted to get ready in Gigi’s room. 

Gigi: Hey auntie. Do you wanna come in my room and get ready? Should be back in 10.

Jackie: I thought you didn’t go shopping with the others?

Gigi: I didn’t. I just wanted to go on a walk. You in?

Jackie: I would never say no to you! But isn’t this more of a you and Jan thing? 

Gigi: just shut up and come. 

As soon as Jackie entered the room, she could tell there was something on the other girl’s mind. The only other time she ever saw her like this was in Untucked when she had gotten into that argument with Heidi. She looked stone cold and as if there were a thousand thoughts running through her mind all at once. But the difference was that this time she didn’t seem angry, she seemed sad.

“What’s wrong?” Jackie asked right away. She immediately regretted it after seeing Gigi beginning to well up with tears.

“Oh no, I’m sorry Gi. Take your time.”

“No, it’s okay,” Gigi responded as she took a deep breath.

“Is this about Crystal?”

Gigi nodded.

“Is there something going on between you two?”

Gigi laughed sarcastically, responding, “Nope.”

“Oh.” Jackie was just beginning to figure out where this conversation was headed. After what she saw in LA, she could tell Gigi was extra caring towards Crystal. It was apparent during filming that the two shared a special connection, always being near one another and finding they had much in common. This was proven in LA, but it began to strike Jackie that perhaps Gigi was opening herself up in a way she wasn’t used to, as there was a distinct difference between how Gigi treated Crystal and how Gigi treated literally anyone else. It was easier for the girl to soften up around Crystal, not to say she wasn’t loving towards her other sisters. But it suddenly started to look like more, at least in Jackie’s perspective. Gigi had always been pretty uptight, not showing her emotions as often as the others. But when it came to Crystal, everyone could see how much Gigi cared. While most people accepted the fact that the two were just close friends, Jackie was beginning to suspect it was more than that. At least it seemed that way for Gigi.

“Yeah.” Gigi didn’t even know where to start, adding, “I am so fucking confused Jackie.”

“Okay. What if I ask you a question and you could start with answering and see where it takes you?”

“Sure.”

“Um.. was last night the first time you two kissed?”

Gigi winced, “Yes.”

“Did you two talk about it afterwards?”

“Not right afterwards. We didn’t see each other again until this morning at breakfast. She didn’t say anything so I didn’t either. Then she walked with me to my room and mentioned it. She said like.. she wanted to make sure I had fun last night? And she started rambling about how she didn’t want it to be weird by not bringing it up but she figured I would be cool about it and that she was trying to find someone to hook up with.. like a random guy. She said she would probably be on the lookout tonight.”

“Wow. She is pretty stupid huh?”

“She’s not stupid,” Gigi said, always looking to defend Crystal even at her own expense, “she’s just capable of kissing one of her friends for fun in a club without making a big thing about it. It wasn’t serious.”

“But you wanted it to be?” Jackie inquired.

“No. Yeah? I don’t fucking know.”

“Okay well did you have feelings for her back in LA? Was there any part of you that wanted something to happen that night she slept in your room?”

“I don’t think so honestly. We were close while filming, but we got really close afterwards as well. I guess I got confused about if I was feeling something romantic and I was trying to figure that out in LA. But I didn’t think that was it. And then she started to get more forward in our texts. Like casually flirting and I started wanting to do that more often. So this trip was super important to me because I thought I would get clarity. Like either we would be good friends like we’ve been every other time we’ve seen each other and I could get over myself, or something more would happen and it would be the start of something new. But neither of those things happened.”

“Well that might not be true. How did you feel when she kissed you? Don’t think about the aftermath of it and don’t try to think about what she was feeling. Just tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. When you kissed Crystal you felt….”

“I felt like my heart was home.”

Gigi couldn’t even believe what she said. It just spilled out of her mouth, much like Jackie intended. Gigi’s eyes bulged out of their sockets, as Jackie’s jaw practically hit the floor.

“Fuck.” Gigi said.

“Well, I think you found your clarity.”

Hours after her conversation with Jackie, on the way to the club for their night out, Gigi was reeling from what she said. She knew the kiss meant something to her, knew how it made her feel even though she wasn’t completely sober. After all, it wasn’t in the most romantic of settings and it wasn’t very intimate with music blasting and 10 of their friends just a few feet away, not to mention an entire club filled with people below them. So to say the most romantic and heartfelt thing she has ever said in her life, that her heart felt like it was home when kissing Crystal, was overwhelming to say the least. Gigi was never one to be sentimental which is why it was driving her crazy that Crystal was bringing out this side of her and because she wasn’t used to acting this way, she didn’t know how to deal with it. Obviously it was more than a kiss to her, it was more than just pent up sexual frustration that was simmering from their flirty texts all the way to Crystal’s performance and then Gigi singing to Crystal in the club. It was the validation Gigi was scared of that she actually had real feelings for Crystal. Feelings that were almost impossible to ignore. For the first time since she met Crystal, Gigi actually wasn’t looking forward to seeing her. In fact, she was dreading it. She didn’t have nearly enough time to let this new realization sink in, nor did she have any remote strategy as to how she would proceed in her friendship with Crystal. There were no boundaries at this point, but Gigi knew something had to be done. 

When all the girls met up outside of the hotel waiting for the Ubers, Crystal found her right away and began chatting. The last thing Gigi wanted was to be stuck in a car with Crystal before being stuck in a club with Crystal, who would be presumably flirting with some attractive man, for the rest of the night. So she subtly, and very immaturely, texted Jackie while Crystal was telling her how surprisingly awful the room service salad was.

Gigi: CODE RED

Gigi: I repeat CODE RED!!! 

Gigi: Bitch I cannot be in an Uber with you know who right now. Help me out.

Jackie didn’t even bother responding, motioning with her head for Jan and Aiden, who were in an intense conversation about some obscure meme, to join her in asking for Gigi’s opinion.

“Gigi, weren’t you telling me before you’re obsessed with memes? Jan is trying to explain one to Aiden and I have no idea what she’s talking about.”

Jackie could literally see the relief wash over Gigi’s face as she delved into conversation with Aiden and Jan, while Crystal laughed along as well. Jackie’s next mission was to get Crystal away from their group to ensure she didn’t get in the same Uber as Gigi, which Jackie slightly felt bad about but she felt even worse for Gigi seeing as Crystal had no idea what she was doing to the girl. This time she enlisted Nicky and Widow, as Widow was conveniently talking about the drag scene in Missouri - something Crystal knew extremely well. Jackie didn’t even have to say anything to get the ball rolling and soon enough she was sitting next to Gigi in their Uber without Crystal.

“Code red, Gi?” Jackie whispered while laughing.

“shut up.” Gigi joked, smiling gratefully so Jackie knew she appreciated her efforts.

Gigi wasn’t having nearly as much fun as she was the previous night. She was making a conscious effort to not look at Crystal in fear that she would see something that would hurt her. She didn’t have an issue really with Crystal sleeping with anyone else seeing as they weren’t together, but she wasn’t sure how much it would hurt her feelings anyway. And she definitely did not want to find out.

She spent most of the night with Jaida and Jackie, as they were more laid back than most of the other girls who were going full out. Heidi would join them oftentimes, getting them to let loose even more than they already were and making them laugh. Gigi was just beginning to feel at ease when she felt Nicky come up behind her.

“Hey girl!”

“Hey Nicky where have you been?” Gigi had just realized she hadn’t seen Nicky almost the entire night. 

“Well I was with Crystal, mostly playing wingman for her, but it looks like I’m relieved of my duties! She found a hottie, so now I’m back with you bitches!” Nicky laughed and went to get herself another drink.

Gigi gave an insincere laugh, trying to play it off as best as she could, as she felt a pit in her stomach. She was terrified to turn around, not wanting to see what Crystal was doing but she knew her curiosity would get the best of her. Curiosity killed the cat right? Well, Gigi’s pretty sure there's more to the saying, but she couldn’t remember what it was and she couldn’t picture a world where something that made her feel good would be happening between Crystal and whatever stranger she was with. When she finally had the courage to turn around, time feeling like it was frozen, she saw Crystal touching a man’s chest and throwing her head back in laughter. The man was an inch or two taller than Crystal, quite muscular, pale, and had dark short hair with a dark beard. He was definitely interested in her, which wasn’t surprising because Crystal was the most charming person Gigi knew. She didn’t want to stare at them, so she tore her eyes away for a minute. When she turned back, which she wished she didn’t, she saw the two in a heated kiss, the man’s hand grabbing Crystal’s ass while the other hand held his drink and Crystal’s hand was playing with his hair, the other holding her drink. 

All Gigi knew was that she needed to get outside as soon as possible. The closest person to her was Jan, so she put her mouth to the girl’s ear telling her she was going to go outside for a second to take a breather, as she was getting hot. When Jan asked if she wanted company, Gigi put on the bravest face she could muster and said she would rather go by herself, as it would only be a minute anyway.

Once Gigi got outside, instantly feeling the heat of the club vanish from her body, she sat on the curb of the sidewalk and put her head in her hands. This was all she’d wanted all day - a moment alone to gather her thoughts and come up with a plan. After all, that is what she did best - coming up with a guide in her head as to how everything should go and she follows it to the tee. She hates surprises and she hates feeling like she doesn’t have control over a situation, living by the notion that it’s better to be safe than sorry. It was better to always have a plan, even if it took part of the beauty in life away, as she was the least spontaneous person she knew. This is where she decided that she simply wasn’t going to do this to herself. Crystal gave her the answer she was looking for loud and clear earlier in the day and she had just confirmed it, well she was currently confirming it if the status of her exchange with that man when Gigi exited the club was any indication. Gigi didn’t like uncertainty. But this, however hard of a pill it was to swallow, was not as bad because she knew what she had to do. She loved Crystal first and foremost as a friend who was her ride or die throughout the most important weeks of her life, and nothing would change that.

Gigi wasn’t selfish enough to let her stupid feelings get in the way, so that’s exactly what she wouldn’t do. It was refreshing to finally have an answer, even if it wasn’t the one she wanted. If she was really supposed to be with Crystal, it wouldn’t be this hard. She wouldn’t have to play mind games everyday of her life and it wouldn’t be this difficult for Crystal to acknowledge her feelings or their chemistry. But Gigi also knew all of the flirting and the kissing, despite how new it was, would have to come to an end because she wasn’t one to torture herself. Gigi felt an odd sense of comfort and determination wash over her, realizing she was about to start the ugly process of getting over someone she had just admitted her feelings for and would have to heal much sooner than anticipated. She was so lost in thought, perfectly content with sitting outside for the next few hours until the girls were ready to leave, that she didn’t hear anyone walking towards her.

“Hey. I came as soon as I found out you walked out. Do you want to talk?”

Jackie scared Gigi so badly, she jumped. “Shit Jackie! I didn’t even hear you.”

Jackie just laughed, putting a comforting arm around Gigi’s shoulders, giving her a second to gather her thoughts.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel pretty devastated right now. And majorly disappointed, but it is what it is. I have my answer and I’m going to deal with it like an adult. I’m going to put my big girl panties on because I don’t want anything to take away from the journey we’re all about to go on.”

Jackie could tell the difference between this Gigi and the Gigi that was nearly having a meltdown just a few hours earlier in her hotel room like night and day, even if Gigi didn’t see it herself. This version of the girl was robotic, the words coming out of her mouth showing little to no emotion. It was mechanical. Almost as if she was talking herself up, giving her the courage to truly mean what she was saying. 

“Are you sure it’s that easy Gi?” Jackie tried to press, but she didn’t want to upset Gigi.

“No I’m not but that doesn’t really matter to me. I want to make the most of our last few days here with all the girls and then deal with my emotions at home. Get over everything, mourn the loss of what could’ve been, and focus on the future. At least I have clarity now and I am not going to take that for granted. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, Ms. Cox, shame on me.”

It was apparent to Jackie that Gigi did not want to be made a fool. She was taking all of this, meaning Crystal’s hooking up with a random man in the club right in front of her, as a clear cut rejection and it made her feel stupid. As someone who always has their shit together, Jackie imagined that this was one of Gigi’s worst nightmares. Putting herself out there in a raw, sometimes messy, way just to be rejected. And it was obvious that Gigi wouldn’t let it happen again. The most bizarre part of all, however, was the complete obliviousness of Crystal. 

A few minutes later, Gigi took in a deep breath and decided she was going to practice what she preached before it was too late. She was going to go into the club and dance her ass off with her girls, without a care in the world and she was going to feel damn good about it. She dragged Jackie up, laughing and yanking her through the club, getting back to the others and having a good time. All the girls noticed Gigi’s change in behavior, as she wasn’t nearly this excited when they first got to the club.

“Yes bitch! What’s gotten into you?” Brita yelled over the music.

“Just needed a breather I guess,” Gigi sounded so convincing, Jackie wasn’t totally sure what the truth was anymore. 

Gigi proceeded to let loose with Jan, the two of them putting up a fight when the others said it was time to leave because they hadn’t realized how late it was.

“Bitch why don’t we just continue this at the hotel? You probably have a better playlist anyway,” Gigi yelled over the music, sloppily getting her things together to leave.

“I’m down! Party! We’ll see if the other girls want to join once we get back to the hotel.”

When they got outside, Gigi was shell shocked to see Crystal standing there with Jaida, slightly shivering. As soon as Crystal caught Gigi’s gaze, she walked right up to her, not noticing Gigi’s intake of breath.

“Hey,” Crystal said, quite calmly.

“Hey bitch! I did not expect to see you here. I thought you would’ve been long gone by now.” Gigi quipped.

“I thought so too at first. But turns out, I wasn’t really feeling it.” Crystal sounded so cool and collected about it, Gigi wasn’t sure what to think.

“Oh? He didn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable did he?”

“Oh no no no. He was actually really nice. I just didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t like.. excited to leave you know? I only go home with someone if I can’t keep my hands off of them. But I was mostly keeping my hands off that guy.” Crystal laughed.

Gigi was secretly cheering inside of her head, elated that she wouldn’t have to avoid thinking about any scenario of Crystal hooking up with someone else. The kiss she witnessed was more than enough.

Before they knew it, they were in the Uber on the way home with Jaida and Dahlia.

“Hey, Gi?” Crystal quietly whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we could like.. hang out for a bit? We don’t have to sleep together but I’m not really tired yet. And it didn’t seem like you were either?”

“Oh I’m such an idiot. I forgot to tell you, Jan and I were going to kiki in her room with whoever was up for it. You wanna join? It’ll be fun. I promise.”

“Well if you’re there then I’m there.”

Gigi knew in the back of her mind that comments like those were strictly violating the boundaries she had set for their relationship without the other girl knowing. She decided to play it off as smoothly as possible, saying, “Cool. We can leave whenever you want. No pressure.”

Jan’s room ended up being the three of them, Heidi, and Brita. They were all quite tipsy and danced to some more music, did some embarrassing lip syncs, and had light conversations. Brita had ended up passing out on Jan’s bed, Heidi falling asleep next to her. Crystal and Gigi found it hilarious that Jan had no room to sleep in her own bed, joking that she would have to take the floor. 

“There is no way in hell I’m sleeping on the floor ladies!”

“Why don’t we just knock on Jackie’s door?” Crystal proposed.

Crystal didn’t even wait for Jan’s approval before she ran into the hallway, knocking on the door much louder than either Jan or Gigi thought necessary.

It was all worth it to see Jackie just waking up from her sleep looking totally confused and slightly panicked.

“What is going on? Is everyone okay?”

They all laughed. 

“Stop being such a mom for once!” Crystal quipped.

“Well Jan kind of has nowhere to sleep.” Gigi hinted, seeing Jackie’s confusion.

“And? What’s wrong with either of your rooms?”

Until Jackie said that, Gigi truly didn’t even think of that as an option. She didn’t know why.

“Oh. Well I was kind of planning on sleeping in Gigi’s room, if that’s okay with her of course. She has the best view. Jan, you can take my bed if you want?” Crystal answered easily.

Gigi could feel her face heating up. She was pretty sure this wasn’t crossing any boundaries because friends sleep in each other’s beds. It's a normal, friendly thing to do. And Gigi wasn’t sober enough to care at this point because it was almost sunrise and all she knew was that she wanted to wake up next to Crystal more than anything. 

“Forget it now. Come on honey,” Jackie grabbed Jan’s hand and pulled her into her room while promptly saying goodnight to the other girls.

Gigi remembered giggling all the way down the hall to her room, being dragged to the bed, and being cuddled like a teddy bear before falling asleep.

This time, Crystal was the first to wake up, having far less to drink than Gigi. She found that her face was resting on Gigi’s chest, so she decided to stay exactly where she was and wake the girl up.

“Good morning Ms. Goode. Waaaaakey Waaakey!” Crystal literally sang in her ear as softly as she could muster with her deep and raspy morning voice.

Gigi made some incoherent sounds and scrunched her face up, making Crystal bust out into laughter, which eventually woke the girl up completely.

“Well good morning to you too Ms. Methyd.”

Their morning cuddles this time were practically nonexistent, as they were rushed to get ready on time. The rest of the day flew by, Gigi keeping good on her promise to herself that she would enjoy her time with the girls and make things as normal as possible with Crystal. It was a lot more relaxing spending time with the girl without wondering what was going on in her head or if her feelings were being reciprocated. She missed this, thanking her lucky stars that this would be her motivator to move on. It was too bad she had woken up to a picture perfect fantasy, Crystal cuddling on top of her before coming to her senses and realizing this was nothing more than platonic. Before any of them knew it, their trip was over and it was back to normal life. It was bittersweet because Gigi was finally able to digest the whirlwind of a week she had, but she wouldn’t be able to see the girls all together like this for a long time.

Crystal got quite emotional parting ways, and it felt like daggers in Gigi’s heart. Gigi knew it would be difficult not to see the other girl, being confident in the fact that they both relied on one another heavily and knew they shared a special bond. It may not be the bond Gigi had hoped for, and Gigi may be more dependent on Crystal than Crystal is on her, but she was no fool. She knew Crystal was the most comfortable around her, that truth being both heartwarming and heartbreaking to Gigi at the same time. The goodbyes were difficult for everyone, knowing their times together as a group were few and far between, but it was obviously the most difficult for Crystal and Gigi. The only thing keeping all of their spirit’s up was the fact that their season premiere was just three weeks away. 


	6. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 5 of my fic! This chapter specifically is especially tied to reality, so there is mention of some personal topics for Crystal and Gigi that they had talked about on the show. With that being said, I made sure not to draw my own conclusions or add anything to those plot lines out of obvious respect for real-life people. However, I did want to put this note in the beginning to explain that as a non-AU, I didn’t want to exclude something that is public knowledge, but there is a fine line between stating a reality and turning it into a different reality. With all that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it is definitely an emotional rollercoaster!

Gigi spent the next few days letting the wave of emotions that she was avoiding finally crash, spending most of her time in her bed wallowing. Crystal was naturally still texting her everyday, but Gigi wasn’t answering as often as she used to, or as she would like to, making up random excuses that she was spending time with her friends doing things off of her phone. Gigi didn’t want to let her relationship with Crystal slip, so she was giving herself these few days to be weird and vague with the other girl while she fully gave into her sadness. It was the only solution she could think of and it was part of her perfectly laid out plan as to how to move on. It was full proof. Gigi didn’t really want to pretend with Crystal, didn’t want to act as if she wasn’t hurting because she never put on an act with the girl before. She figured a little distance wouldn’t do any damage. Especially since they still talked everyday, it was just that Gigi’s heart wasn’t fully in it this time around. 

When Grant visited Maggie and Gigi’s shared apartment, the two friends patiently waited for Gigi to come out of her room, what she deemed her depression cave, and finally talk. The truth was that Maggie had seen how dejected Gigi looked the moment they met up in the airport but they didn’t want to push the girl into talking about something when she wasn’t ready. At this point, it had been a few days and Maggie didn’t want Gigi to feel alone anymore, they wanted to encourage the girl to talk.

Gigi walked straight into the kitchen, pouring herself a bowl of cereal and not even bothering to fix the back of her head where her hair was sticking up in all different directions. She usually wouldn’t be caught dead looking like this because she prided herself on always taking care of her appearance. It made her feel powerful and beautiful.

The truth was that Gigi knew once the show started airing, she wouldn’t have much downtime to herself. She usually never let herself wallow, never letting anything shake her confidence or impact her to the point of messing with her life. However, this was different because this downtime gave her an excuse to wallow. Gigi was going to use the rest of her time before the show aired as a period of self-reflection, relaxing until life got hectic and her world would totally change. It was almost as if she justified healing from her broken heart merely because it was happening at a convenient time. 

“Here she is, coming out of her room for the first time at a whopping 3pm,” Grant joked.

“Nothing like having breakfast in the middle of the day, huh Gi? We’ve all been there.” Maggie tagged along, making sure not to make Gigi feel ashamed. 

“Haha. My depression cave is very nice, thank you very much. I don’t need to be anywhere else.” Gigi said quite sarcastically, wanting them to know she was able to joke too. She didn’t want to feel weak.

“Okay so bring your cereal over here bitch. What on earth is going on? I’m tired of walking on eggshells around you! You know we’re here to help,” Grant expressed.

“I’m guessing this has to do with Crystal?” Maggie guessed.

“Of course it does,” Gigi thought this much was probably obvious to them.

“What happened? When you left I was sure you were going to jump her bones at least once. You two couldn’t stop flirting!” Grant wasn’t exactly helping Gigi’s situation, but it was nice to know someone also thought there was something happening between her and Crystal.

“I made a fucking fool out of myself is what happened. I completely misunderstood the signs. She doesn’t treat me any differently than she probably treats her friends at home. She’s not into me like that.” Gigi sounded so sure of herself, the other two had no idea how she could’ve done a complete 180 in one weeks time.

“Can you explain what went on? Because it seemed like she wanted something to happen.” Maggie encouraged her.

“Well basically it all started when my flight got delayed. All the other girls were there already and when I got off the plane I wanted to scream I was so frustrated. Crystal was texting me literally every hour updating me and telling me I wasn’t missing out, saying she was so excited to see me and everything would be better if I was there. So I was stupidly excited, but none of that was more than friendly. Well until I told her I was going to give her a big hug when I saw her as a thanks for her texts and she responded along the lines of ‘just a hug?’ so I thought that was a sign that she wanted more to happen.” Gigi stopped, giving her friends time to digest the beginning of the story and receive some kind of feedback. 

“So far so good.” Maggie said, indicating that Gigi had not yet made a fool of herself.

“Um yeah that wasn’t just a sign, that was her saying she wanted more. Sort of a weird thing if you ask me.” Grant wasn’t afraid to be blunt.

“I don’t know. Anyway we were attached at the hip and she ended up sleeping in my room for the night. Long story short, we fell asleep kind of cuddled? And I woke her up in a cute little way and I figured it would show her that I’m interested. When we went out, we spent most of the night away from each other until we kept making eye contact. I was jokingly singing to her but then it got more serious I guess? I caught her staring at me a few times, so she ended up walking over. She said I looked really good and asked if I wanted to move somewhere else in the section because it was crammed where we were standing. Then we were dancing for a bit and she kissed me.”

“BIIIIITCHHH” both Grant and Maggie exclaimed at the same time, shocked that Crystal actually made a move and completely lost as to how that could result in the heartbroken girl sitting in front of them.

“Yeah. She pulled back a few seconds later to make sure it was okay and I just pulled her back in. I honestly couldn’t even fucking tell you how long we were hooking up until Rock hit into her on accident and ruined the moment.”

“No fucking way,” Maggie was mystified.

“Yeah well that's about as good as it gets because after that we didn’t see each other again until the next morning. She didn’t bring it up at first because we were with the other girls and I guess she was waiting for privacy. She wanted to make sure I had fun and everything was cool, then she started going on about how she wanted to have a one night stand with a stranger before we left. Like basically saying our kiss was fun and all, but it wasn’t leading to anything else. I don’t even think she thought about it leading somewhere else. Nothing was ever more than friendly to her.”

“So this entire time, you’re telling me this has just been totally casual to her?” Grant couldn’t believe it. It’s not as though casual relationships weren’t normal, but Crystal was acting as if the two were strictly friends and a spark didn’t exist at all. She was acting as if all of her flirting and the deep connection the two shared wasn’t special, and Grant couldn’t imagine just how much that hurt Gigi.

“Yeah.” Gigi didn’t even know what else to say.

“She doesn’t see anything weird at all? What the fuck?” Maggie sounded mad because they could see how upset Gigi was, adding, “I’m sorry Gi. Are you still talking to her?”

“Well yeah of course I am. I know she cares about me and she would probably feel like a fucking monster if she knew how I felt about any of this. She’s one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. I can’t blame her for not seeing me the way I see her. I just have to remind myself how I felt in the beginning when it was just easy and there was no thought of anything more happening between us. I know I’ll get there again.”

And she was right. It took her a little while, but she swallowed her pride, accepted the reality of the situation, and got back on track with her friendship with Crystal. There was no more flirting between the two for a little while, Gigi simply ignoring any of the cutesy things Crystal said and focusing on the other aspects of their relationship. Her friends around her saw a difference in her attitude as well, as she was performing with a new fire inside of her, thanks to her growth from the competition, and she was back to the old Gigi who was always down for a good time. Whenever she felt upset again or a sad thought popped up in her mind that made her feel stupid for the feelings she once had, Gigi would pour herself into her passions. She would sketch all sorts of silly pictures and designs for future outfits. She stayed creative with those around her and even hooked up with a boy or two on her nights out. It was liberating. 

That’s not exactly to say she forgot about her feelings for Crystal, or that they had transitioned into feelings of pure friendship. Gigi knew the trickiest part of getting over her feelings for Crystal was that her and Crystal’s relationship was different than anything she’d ever experienced. It was obvious that they had grown extremely close in a short period of time, but it was also obvious that they built a trust and a foundation to be security blankets for one another. Developing feelings for someone who shared an experience that, literally nobody else could relate to to the same extent, was not the smartest idea, Gigi came to find out. 

After all, Gigi and Crystal were in the first episode together, walking into the workroom for the first time one after the other, and made it to the finale. Gigi, upon finding out that she couldn’t just change her feelings for Crystal because they were no longer convenient for her circumstances, decided she would try to forget about them the best way she could. There was a reason why she pridefully referred to herself as delusional. The more she said something to herself and the more she wished it was true, the more she actually would believe it. That’s why the more Gigi told herself she could handle the remnants of her feelings for Crystal and that overtime they would fully dissipate, the more confident she became that this would no longer be a problem for her, even if that reality wasn’t totally true. 

The next time she saw the girls was in LA for the first premiere and they were all buzzing. It was finally happening, finally their moment and Gigi knew the gravity of their experience wouldn’t sink in for her until she saw her face on the screen. Jackie checked in on her at the very first chance she got, as the two of them were walking to the restroom just before the episode was to begin.

“Maybe not the best timing Geege, but is everything alright? You doing okay with the Crystal situation?”

Gigi was grateful for Jackie, but she honestly didn’t feel like she needed any encouragement at all. She was practically bouncing with excitement and had probably never felt as happy as she did in this moment.

“Oh everything is good, really. I took my time and set some boundaries for myself so it’s a lot better. I should’ve told you sooner, but yeah. We’re just friends and that’s more than okay.”

When Jackie gave her a skeptical glance, she laughed, adding “I promise!”

Gigi and Jackie had a few conversations about Crystal following their press week in New York, Gigi slowly becoming less and less emotional about her situaton. After a while, it became clear that Gigi didn’t want to dwell on it and Jackie hoped that meant Gigi was healing. Jackie didn’t completely believe the girl until she saw Gigi’s pure happiness while watching the episode. She wasn’t avoiding Crystal to be happy, but Crystal was adding to her happiness and they were joking with all of the other girls. It reminded Jackie of the magic she felt with all of them - they were family. And she was happy that Gigi felt the same way. 

Not only did Gigi feel the same way, she was basking in the pure joy she felt from spending time with her sisters and finally seeing her lived experience come to fruition on national television. She knew, from the time she got to know Crystal on the show, that she wanted to share this experience with Crystal more than anyone else. Crystal and Gigi often talked while getting ready in the workroom about what would make the cut on the show and how they would watch the episodes together. Now that it was finally happening, it felt surreal to the both of them. 

Sitting closely to one another, talking amongst the chaos in the large room, Crystal leaned into Gigi to say, “I can’t believe this is really happening. Are you nervous?”

Gigi knew Crystal was probably more nervous than her for the beginning of the show, knowing Crystal was struggling to come out of her shell and find the confidence Gigi had been so pleasantly surprised by in the weeks that followed. However, she was still nervous about how everything would be portrayed and how the audience would react to all of the girls.

“Yeah, of course. I think I’m mostly excited.”

“You should be,” Crystal laughed before adding, “There’s no way everyone won’t love you after the first episode. I’m going to be blown away by you all over again.”

For some reason, a reason Gigi didn’t want to reflect on, compliments coming from Crystal always felt different. Different than her family, different than her friends, different than their season twelve sisters, different than anyone. Crystal just always seemed so genuine, so honest, and so sweet. Knowing that someone like Crystal can truly admire her made Gigi’s confidence that much stronger, feeling grateful to have Crystal sitting right next to her as they were about to embark on a whole new adventure. 

As the episode began and their conversation died down, Crystal excitedly turned to see the screen, promptly kissing Gigi’s cheek as a sign of support, anticipation, and love. The quick gesture did not go unnoticed by the other girls in view, especially Jackie, but Gigi tried not to dwell on what that small kiss did to her heart. 

Gigi, frankly, wasn’t worried at all about her performances for most of the show, specifically the beginning of the competition. She knew she would have a strong presence and was killing it, enjoying the feeling of being at the top and reminiscing on some of her best moments in the competition while finally being able to talk about them. The episode that she was nervous for, however, was the snatch game. Obviously she won the competition, it being one of the most iconic ones to win making it that much better, but she remembers coming to a realization that week that was quite personal. When she got the call after filming requesting photos of her uncle and pictures of her when she was younger, she knew they were going to add it to her confessional where she talked about her relationship with gender. It was a scary feeling to know that such a vulnerable moment would be shown on national television, as she had sort of just had that realization while sitting in the confessional and the words left her mouth without her really thinking about the impact they would have. She meant every word and the weight that was lifted off of her chest was relieving to say the least, so it was heartwarming to see the group-chat filled with love for her.

Jaida: LOVE YOU GIRL! 

Brita: Yes bitch! You Brita WORK gender fluidity! So proud mama

Jackie: What a beautiful moment baby Geege. This is going to touch so many people!

Widow: <3 love you sis

Crystal: I personally enjoyed the bald cap. xoxo.

Heidi: AWW LOVE YOU GIGI

Gigi appreciated their sentiments, but she appreciated Crystal’s separate text with a red heart emoji the most. She didn’t expect to receive another red heart from Crystal when her confessional talking about the girl’s snatch game of Poppy came on the screen. She honestly didn’t even remember saying any of it.

Gigi: i meant what i said, it wasn’t funny!

Crystal: Way to rub salt in the wound Gi. 

Gigi: haha love ya (:

Crystal: you did say it was accurate though. Keep the compliments coming!

Gigi: I don’t remember that part? I think they edited it.

Crystal: ouch! 

Gigi was slightly alarmed when the very next episode, yet another confessional of hers included Crystal. She knew Crystal was nervous about this episode because, while she did very well in the rusical, she was talking in the workroom about her family which was emotional to say the least. Gigi did not expect Crystal to send her, yet another, red heart immediately after she said Crystal reminded her of her friends back home. It was a sweet moment, but what scared Gigi is she also did not remember saying this. She knew logically that she had talked about the other girls in her confessionals, recalling mostly everything thus far, but she had no recollection of certain comments she made about Crystal. She decided to ignore it, figuring she couldn’t have said anything too sappy, as she had no idea that her feelings could have meant more back then. Water under the bridge.

Gigi: so so so so proud of you.

Crystal: ahhhh! Thank you! I’m glad I opened up to you guys, I was just nervous to put that out there you know?

Gigi: of course. but I can't imagine a world where someone in your life isn’t proud of you. it was PERFECT! 

Crystal: do you think if I called RuPaul I could request for them not to show me crying anymore? It’s slightly embarrassing. 

Gigi: don’t you dare! I bet a lot of money that you would cry in every episode. 

Crystal: How rude!

If Gigi thought she was nervous about the snatch game episode, she was completely dreading the political debate episode. She felt like a fool, which she absolutely detested. It was one thing to do badly in a competition, after all she isn’t perfect although she tries so hard to appear as if she is, but this was the most important competition in that it dealt with real world issues. She wasn’t just displaying a weakness in the competition, she was displaying a weakness in real life that was embarrassing to her. It was not a good look to say she wasn’t politically engaged, but she did feel better about the fact that like Jaida said, it was important for her to realize and she had room to grow. That didn’t mean it wasn’t completely mortifying though. What helped while watching it was that Crystal sent her a red heart when her confessional talking about wanting to change and be informed because it was important to her came on. She remembers that her only saving grace at the time while she was feeling as though she would have a breakdown at any given moment, was Crystal right by her side. Crystal could gather that Gigi didn’t really want to talk, but she saw it in her eyes that she was panicking. So Crystal decided to hold her hand, literally the entire time in Untucked, as a silent show of support. Gigi’s heart melts at the thought of it, which is exactly what happened when she saw it on tv. Without fail, Crystal sent her another red heart when their air kiss made it on the show. At the time, Gigi almost forgot there were even cameras around, trying her hardest to focus on Crystal who was telling her everything was going to be alright. 

As the weeks went by, the fans became obsessed with Crystal. All of the girls knew that once Crystal’s personality was shown, the world would fall in love with her. What was surprising, though, was how quickly fans took a liking to Crystal and Gigi. Together. It was clear from the beginning that Gigi was protective over Crystal, having defended her makeup in the snatch game episode while simultaneously insulting Heidi, as well as through tiny moments of support. Crystal was living for it, knowing they would have lots more cute moments to come, so she interacted with the fans quite often and gave even more attention to it through humorous tweets and telling people they were really together. Gigi knew that the fans loved shipping queens together, as she even loved Branjie herself, and after seeing a season where two queens really did get together, nothing seemed impossible. She also knew the fans would absolutely die if they knew the two had actually kissed or if they knew that Gigi’s feelings were real at one point in time.

She decided to roll with it, same as Crystal, often making comments in live videos that she and Crystal were together. Their joking nature made it seem casual to Gigi, as her feelings were in the past, but it was still a sensitive subject. Gigi knew it was a slippery slope to reflect on her feelings while the show was airing and fans were making extremely romantic edits of the pair’s best moments, so she interacted much less than Crystal in an effort to not mess with her mental health. She knew, however, that it would’ve been extremely strange for her not to comment at all, so she made sure to share cute pictures and make stupid comments as well to play it up. It was also nice to know that other than her friends at home and Jan and Jackie, other people were also seeing their chemistry and perhaps maybe she wasn’t as much of a fool as she originally thought. It sometimes seemed to Gigi that everyone except for Crystal was able to see how good the two were together. She tried not to dwell on it.

When Crystal tagged her in a few instagram videos on her story with the Real Housewives of New York, Gigi could not believe how stupid Crystal was. She thought it was hilarious, but it also secretly made her blush. The attention she was getting was certainly not unwanted, but it definitely muddied the waters of the boundaries she had set. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Gigi: you are TOO much! HAHAHA

Crystal: LOL I can’t help it! It’s so fun fake dating you!

Gigi wanted to say it would be much more fun really dating her, but she stopped herself.

Gigi: that's what they all say. 

Crystal: ALL? Are you cheating on me?

Gigi: i would never. just know you have a very sought after girl. 

Crystal: Don’t I know it!

Gigi knew the second her friends, specifically Grant, saw Crystal’s story, they would lose their minds. The thing was, they had all grown to love Crystal and the pair’s friends often interacted with one another. Gigi wasn’t lying when she said Crystal reminded her of her friends from home. They couldn’t believe the dorky and sweet girl on the tv made their friend feel so heartbroken, even if it was unintentional. Gigi made it very clear from the beginning that she didn’t want her personal feelings for Crystal to get in the way of how the group felt about her, as Crystal was still one of her closest friends and she would love it if they had all become friends with her as well. So they listened to Gigi and immediately became obsessed with the other girl, every now and then reminding Gigi that if anything were to happen, they would always have her back.

“Bitch what is Crystal doing! She fucking loves this Crygi situation huh?” Grant said.

“Yeah, she does.” Gigi laughed.

“Can I ask you something that may or may not cause a reaction?” Grant asked bluntly.

“Yeah?”

“Is this triggering any old feelings you may have had? I mean, if I had feelings for someone and I was being tagged in edits of us day in and day out, I would be screwed. Not to mention how often Crystal brings attention to it.”

“Well it definitely doesn’t make it any easier on me, right?” 

Gigi sighed before she continued, “I like it as well. I just wish it wasn’t as real for me. I knew it would be hard to watch back the season and see us together, but I wasn’t expecting this. I don’t know anymore. It feels like I’m stuck in this time warp, stuck in the past and I’m having trouble remembering how hard I worked to get over my feelings now.” 

Gigi was getting emotional all at once, tired of this periodic confusion. It was magical to watch her time on the show and live out her dream, but she couldn’t get it out of the back of her mind that this was also where her feelings began developing, even if she didn’t know it at the time, for Crystal. And now people really believe they’re together. Which they’re not. Because Crystal doesn’t see her that way. 

“Oh honey I didn’t mean to make you cry. I know it’s confusing but each week another piece gets added to the puzzle and there's that much more clarity. Just remember that what you’re seeing on tv now is from a year ago. You’ve grown since then and you’ll continue to do so.” Grant reminded her.


	7. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 6 of my fic! I apologize for the sporadic uploads, as I know how it feels to be on the other side and be waiting for my favorite fics to be updated as well. Although the fic has been completed, I am a perfectionist and I tend to look over it and edit it more than once. There is one more chapter left after this one that will be uploaded on Saturday. I hope this chapter makes up for it!

Gigi decided to go full throttle for the remainder of the season, immersing herself in all things other than her feelings for Crystal. One of her biggest pet peeves was ungrateful people who didn’t acknowledge their luck and fortune to be successful, and she slowly realized her wallowing followed by unhealthy denial was making her take for granted her newfound fame and opportunity. It was exhausting to pretend she didn't feel the way she did, overtime realizing more and more that Crystal meant more to her than she could ever hope to suppress. It got to the point that it started negatively affecting her work, her interactions with fans, and the projects she was working on - and that is where she drew the line. That’s why Gigi had to finally take off her mask after her conversation with Grant, firstly admitting to herself that as much as she might want to, she can’t control her feelings or will her feelings away. After that, although it brought on a crippling wave of sadness, it also allowed Gigi to fully live her life without jumping through hoops she put in her own way. She would enjoy the rest of the season and prepare for the final, all the while enjoying her relationship with Crystal as well as the other season 12 girls. The surprising result of Gigi’s fresh mindset, however, was that her feelings for Crystal were not just apparent, they were flourishing and growing the more she opened herself up to them.

The superfan episode came up next, which the girls were looking forward to the most. It was amazing to give these women an experience of a lifetime and it was a good reminder for all of them that they were blessed to be there. Gigi was glued to her screen each time Crystal came on, absolutely gushing over how cute she was. It melted Gigi’s heart to see Crystal encouraging Grace and doing the Superwoman pose.

“Could one person be any fucking cuter,” Gigi unknowingly said out loud after watching Crystal’s confessional talking about how much fun she was having being in the competition and walking on the runway with Grace. Her friends looked at her, laughing and agreeing, while Maggie and Grant continued looking for a bit longer before glancing at one another. Gigi was not the mushy type and it was a signal to both of them that the girl’s feelings were probably being stirred up again. 

Gigi: this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Grace is ADORABLE

Crystal: Cuter than Phenomenal Phil? And Just Grace? How offensive. But I agree, Grace is an angel.

Gigi: Yes, Phil was not cute. Phil was hot. 

Crystal: That’s more like it! 

That was another thing Gigi was terrified of, seeing herself look like a total dork watching Crystal’s one-woman show. The confessionals were pretty much getting out of hand at this point and she knew they were going to get worse. It was sort of embarrassing how much she talked about Crystal, and the worst part was that she had no idea she was doing it at the time. It didn’t feel like a lot at the time, but having most of those moments make the cut for the show definitely made it seem like it when watching it back. She figures nobody gushed over Crystal quite like she did. 

So it was no surprise that the fans had a ball with Gigi’s reaction to Phil once the episode aired, especially in comparison to the other girls. Gigi couldn’t wipe the damn smile off of her face, she was so in awe of Crystal. She remembers feeling proud of the girl, especially because Gigi had a feeling this would be her first win of the season, but she could tell by the look on her face that she had heart eyes. It was mortifying to see yourself falling for someone without even realizing it at the time. Especially when millions of other people were seeing it, as well as the person you’re falling for. Now when she looked forward to Friday’s, she did so with a pool of dread in her stomach, wondering how much more obvious she could possibly make it that she had feelings for Crystal. With each red heart emoji text she received from Crystal, Gigi grew more and more self-conscious that she was looking like a fool once again. 

If all of Gigi’s worst nightmares could come true, it would be the last episode. She talked about Crystal every chance she got, as indicated by the twelve red hearts she received in just the first half of the damn episode. She felt like hyperventilating. First, you could see the love radiating out of her eyes when she was trying to comfort Crystal while they were writing their lyrics. Then she had to go off in the confessional talking about how badly she wanted Crystal to make it. It would’ve been all well and good to have those cute moments, as it wasn’t necessarily romantic, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was looking at Crystal as if Crystal put the stars in the sky herself when the girl was singing, literally glowing while watching her joke with the producers and get in the zone. She didn’t even want to pick up her phone, knowing the fans were most certainly losing it over this. It didn’t get any better during the dancing segment when, shockingly, they showed yet another one of Gigi’s confessionals talking about Crystal. With every ding of her phone came another red heart from said girl, making Gigi want to crawl into her bed for the next week and avoid any human contact. 

At the next commercial break, she ran to the bathroom while her friends were chatting about what they were seeing on the screen. She washed her face with cold water and psyched herself up to enjoy the rest of the episode, focusing on the positives and the amazing experience that would soon end. Luckily, she threw herself into the episode and lost herself in the jokes of her friends. When the episode ended, though, Gigi was a full blown mess. She couldn’t even make it to her room before she started crying. She knew her feelings didn’t go away and the mere thought of opening her phone to see what people were saying made her feel like she couldn’t breathe, even worse she was petrified that Crystal would catch on. She was getting so good at leaving her feelings in the past, but watching herself swoon over someone who, sort of indirectly, rejected her was a slap in the face. Even though people were mostly kidding about Gigi having feelings for Crystal, the sad reality was that it was true and it had been so fucking obvious when she watched it back. What a fool. It was one thing to acknowledge her feelings in the present in the privacy of her own head, but it was a completely different thing to see herself developing feelings so many months ago without noticing, finding out at the same time as everyone else who was watching the show unfold. 

When Maggie spotted her crying in the kitchen, they immediately put their hand on Gigi’s shoulder, saying “Do you want to talk about it?”

Gigi gave them a light smile, trying to show her gratitude instead of screaming in their face out of frustration. 

“Absolutely not.” Gigi replied, heading to her room to shut out the rest of the world while she got her thoughts together.

Meanwhile, Crystal was having the best time watching the final episode before the reunion with her best friends, feeling overwhelmed and very emotional that the season was coming to an end. When Jackie called to congratulate her on making it to the finale, she walked to the front of the apartment to let her know how grateful she was to have met Jackie and that she performed incredibly. Meanwhile her friends were grateful for Crystal’s absence, as they felt a huge elephant in the room. An elephant Crystal was totally oblivious to.

“Bitch I have had enough of this. Can’t we just ask her? I think Gigi actually may like her. Like a lot.” Daegan said, growing impatient at walking on eggshells around her best friend, trying not to pop the all too comfortable bubble Crystal was living in, completely avoiding romantic connections. It was becoming sad, especially when there was so much potential with Gigi. Not to mention, Daegan, Daya, and Lux were obsessed with Gigi and could see she had a big heart. They were grateful Gigi was there to support and protect Crystal when they couldn’t be there. Although Crystal was strong on her own, they knew she was an over-thinker and always doubted herself. 

“I feel like if she isn’t realizing it by now, she’s just not going to realize it at all.” Lux added.

“Even if we’re not sure about Gigi’s feelings, it has been obvious that Crystal cares about her a lot. It’s worth asking.” Daya confirmed.

So when Crystal walked back in with a satisfied smile on her face after having a heartfelt conversation with Jackie to be met with three pairs of eyes basically looking right into her soul, to say she was caught off guard would be an understatement.

“Um. Do I have something on my face?” Crystal tried to lighten the mood.

“No, but we do want to ask you something.” Lux said gently, somewhat nervously.

“Okay?” Crystal couldn’t be more confused if she tried.

“And don’t get defensive or angry.” Daegan added pointedly, knowing Crystal could shut down if she was pushed too far or made to feel ganged up on.

“Okay. You’re scaring me.” Crystal said carefully.

“Do you think there’s a chance that all of this Crygi stuff has some sort of truth to it?” Daya asked simply, as an opener to make Crystal understand where this was going.

“What?” Crystal asked dumbly.

“Do you think there’s more to your relationship with Gigi? Is there any possibility of romantic feelings?” Daya took control, knowing Crystal would get angry if Daegan had said it in a certain way and that Lux would be too intimidated to hold such a serious conversation in fear of hurting Crystal unintentionally. 

“Where is this even coming from?” They could start to see the defensiveness rise in Crystal. She did not get like this often by any means, but when she did it was intimidating. 

“We think there’s something between you and Gigi. When you came back from filming, you had this lightness about you that I don’t think I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of when you were first coming into your own after your break up. And I saw it whenever you were on your phone, talking to Gigi.” Daegan said, always the one to cut straight to the point.

“And you do kind of talk about her differently than anyone else. Like I’m sure it could just be your friendship, but it seems like the way you care for her is deeper than that.” Lux added. 

“We didn’t want to jump to conclusions or make you uncomfortable, but this has been building for months and we’re scared you might be letting a good thing slip through your fingers right now because you’re denying it. If we’re wrong, we’re wrong but we wouldn’t be your best friends, hell your family, if we weren’t honest with you before it’s too late.” Daya wrapped it up, trying to be as empathetic as possible.

Crystal sat in stoic silence for a few minutes, completely lost in her own head. She could not believe what she was hearing. It was like it was spelled out in front of her this entire time and she couldn’t put her finger on it, she couldn’t admit it. She knew Gigi was different. She was shocked Gigi even wanted to be friends with her honestly. She was chaotic, a tornado of a person who sometimes didn’t know when to reel it in. And in came this pristine, put together, polished person who was the type of perfect Crystal didn’t think existed. She thought Gigi had it all together and, surprisingly, when she realized Gigi did not have it all together, she came to love the girl even more. She knew their bond was unique, but never until this moment did she think it was anything more. She didn’t think of anyone like that anymore. And it was starting to get lonely, if she was being honest. But Crystal wasn’t sure of anything right now.

When she finally got her thoughts together she said, “I’m not mad. Thank you for telling me and, by the way, you’re right. Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to even see this as a possibility.”

“Does that mean feelings are there?” Daya asked.

“I have no idea. I guess it’s possible? They’re not.. not there?” Crystal tried, “I think the line is blurred.”

“Bitch I think the line has been blurred for a long time.” Daegan added, earning dirty looks from both Daya and Lux who were holding their breaths while literally witnessing Crystal come to terms with this entire situation. 

“Well, we did make out in a club. That was kind of nice. Well it was definitely nice. But maybe nicer than I originally thought? Like I didn’t really want to stop?” Crystal was thinking out loud at this point, word vomiting extremely significant information to her friends that she had previously assumed wasn’t all that important. Oh how wrong she was. 

“YOU WHAT?” Lux said, with Daegan adding “BITCH YOU DIDN’T.”

“When the fuck did that happen?” Daya asked, being the only one able to properly ask a question.

“Like the second or third day in New York? Neither of us were sober and she sort of started singing to me from across the room. Well first she caught me looking at her dancing, which I honestly didn’t even realize I was doing. I glanced at her and she looked good so I just didn’t take my eyes off her. So I went over and long story short, I kissed her. Then I pulled away and she kissed me. Then Rock rammed into me and that was it.”

“Do you think she wanted more?” Daegan asked.

“I have no idea. She said the next morning that she had fun and it was cool. But nothing happened after that.”

“So you didn’t kiss her again?” Lux asked, not understanding why.

“No.”

“And she didn’t try to kiss you because?” Daegan asked.

“Well I did tell her that you guys wanted me to have a one night stand. And I did spend some time with a stranger the next night. He wanted me to go back to his place, but I bailed because I wasn’t feeling it.”

“You are truly a fucking idiot Crystal,” Daegan said, unrelenting.

“Hold on. If you were vibing with a guy, why didn’t you go home with him? Usually if you give a guy more than five minutes of your time, that’s it. You know right away when you’re interested.” Daya asked, as perceptive as ever.

“Well I remember thinking I’d rather hang out in Gigi’s room than hook up with a stranger I wasn’t into anyway. Oh did I mention that I slept in Gigi’s room the night before we kissed?”

“Oh my God,” Lux said.

“Are you dense? YOU LIKE HER” Daegan said, growing frustrated that Crystal could be so clueless.

“I don’t know that! I don’t know anything right now! Just give me a minute.” Crystal said, raising her tone while grabbing her jacket and leaving her own apartment. 

She decided to take a walk around her neighborhood, knowing the night breeze and looking up at the stars would help her. It always calmed her down to remember that there was an entire universe out there that held so much promise. Nothing was impossible and nothing was the end of the world. She could figure anything out as long as she remembered to look to the stars. If Crystal was honest with herself, she knew she was pretty fearless. She had a quiet confidence about her, never really bragging about her assets because she never felt the need to. But she knew there were very few things in life that deeply scared her. She didn’t care about being her weird and unique self, she didn’t care about people hating on her or trolling her, she didn’t care about being the one person to stand out in a room.

She was, however, terrified of being left. Crystal promised herself to never put herself in a position again where she had to sacrifice her own wellbeing to love someone else. That isn’t what love should be about. The saddest part was that she really loved her ex. Crystal knew the most unsettling part of the whole relationship was the fact that she would have continued making excuses for him as long as he would stick around. She was totally devoted to sticking with it, no intention of putting herself first. Crystal was scared if she entered a relationship again, the same thing would happen. When she was newly single, she didn’t want a relationship anyway, preferring to focus on other aspects of her life and get to know herself even more. As time went by, however, Crystal was starting to feel as though something was missing in her life. 

She was probably the most emotionally unavailable person she knew and after truly thriving in her career, finding her passion for life, she wanted the chance to share that with someone. She just didn’t know how and she never had someone who was willing to do that. The odd thing was, Crystal hadn’t felt this way since before she left for Drag Race and she assumed it was because she was going to embark on a whole new journey, elevating her career even more, and that the attention she was receiving was fulfilling enough. But, after the unexpected intervention she just received from her friends, Crystal was starting to wrap her head around the fact that it wasn’t Drag Race specifically that made that missing part in her life feel whole again. It was Gigi. 

The girl took her breath away with how talented she was. Crystal secretly feared that Gigi would turn out to be like the queens that disliked Crystal from Springfield, seeing her as an oddball who didn’t fit into the world of drag. She couldn’t have been more wrong because although Gigi had twice the amount of beauty as those girls, Gigi also had twice the amount of understanding and loyalty. She was so much more than a pretty face with an untouchable fashion sense, she was someone who cared deeply about her friends and her love of drag, she was someone who was bold and creative and funny. She made Crystal feel alive and excited, like she could be anything she wanted to be. Like the world was filled with endless possibilities that could be explored. And Crystal wanted to explore them with her. She just can’t believe it took her this long to realize. She was starting to shiver from the cold and knew she couldn’t handle much more revelations like this alone, so she quickly walked back to her house with the hopes that her friends were still there and weren’t too mad that she had left for so long. 

When she walked in, Lux and Daegan were sleeping, but Daya was on her phone. If Crystal was the number one worrier in the group, which she was, Daya was a close second.

“Are you okay? We really didn’t mean to ambush you.”

Crystal smiled, “Yeah I know. I’m just emotional. Scared I guess.”

“What are you thinking now?”

“I’m thinking Daegan was right. I am a fucking idiot. I think I love her, Daya.” Crystal bashfully admitted, looking like a little kid as she played with her hands and looked at the floor.

Daya figured Crystal would come to some overwhelming conclusions, but she didn’t expect Crystal to use the word love. Maybe her and the others didn’t quite know how close the two were. In an effort to lighten the mood, seeing Crystal was troubled, Daya said, “You think you love Daegan?”

Crystal laughed, grateful Daya was able to ease the tension she was feeling. “Very funny. But, there is so much more to Gigi and I than I thought. Like, I’m still confused as hell but I know I love her. And I know it’s not platonic anymore. But I am so fucking scared. I’m so used to doing everything on my own. What if I get hurt again?”

Daya knew this was precisely the reason it took Crystal so long to acknowledge her feelings. She felt so bad for her friend, she wanted to well up with tears.

“What I know is that you deserve the most happiness this world has to offer. And you are not going to feel that if you keep hiding away like this. Gigi is important to you and I think you owe it to both you and her to have a conversation. Whatever that may lead to is up to the two of you.”

“I don’t even know if she feels the same.”

“Then don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. You’ve never done anything for yourself like this and you deserve to come first. This is you choosing yourself. Choosing your own happiness.”

“Did you think I had feelings for her this whole time?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Daya laughed.

“I really am an idiot, huh?”

“Yep.”

“I just hope I didn’t mess anything up. Or that I will mess anything up by doing this.”

“I don’t think you will. And worst case, if Gigi was truly your friend, like we all know she is, then she will not make you feel badly about this. And if she does, maybe she wasn’t worth it in the first place. But, if it helps, I think she is worth it.” Daya says, supportively. 

Crystal gives herself the next day to fully digest the events of the previous night, letting everything sink in to ensure that she didn’t impulsively say something stupid to Gigi. She wanted to do this as carefully as possible and be sure of her feelings before she messed anything up. Crystal was petrified, frankly, and she knew time was ticking because it was not like her to not text Gigi all day.

Gigi herself spent the morning, and most of the afternoon, in her bed. She didn’t dare touch her phone. Her friends finally convinced her to join them for dinner, both Grant and Maggie warning the rest of them not to push Gigi. When Gigi realized the awkward silences were a result of them all watching her, wordlessly wondering what was going on, she decided to just tell them. After all, it would be much easier to feel like her feelings for Crystal weren’t just some dirty secret. She wasn’t ashamed of her feelings, just disappointed that they weren’t reciprocated. When she told them, most of them weren’t exactly surprised, which Gigi had figured anyway seeing as she swooned over Crystal every time she was on the tv and she had gone off on one too many tangents about the girl. But, just as she suspected, they were all supportive of her and told Gigi they would be there for her if she wanted to talk. 

When she told them she would rather take her mind off of it, they suggested a movie marathon/game night that had Gigi smiling in a matter of minutes. She checked her phone for the first time that day when it was much later in the night, only to find that Crystal didn’t text her at all. This would be the first day the two hadn’t talked since they met and Gigi was not feeling good about it. She decided if Crystal wanted to talk to her, she would text her and Gigi most definitely did not want to look like even more of a fool by reaching out. 

It took Crystal another twenty four hours to get her act together, spending much of her time psyching herself up to text Gigi. She knew that no matter what they were, Gigi should know her feelings. They had an undeniable connection, even if it took Crystal this long to figure it out. 

Crystal: Hey.

Crystal wanted to slap herself for starting off the conversation like that. She usually started conversations with something to get the ball rolling, whether it be a joke or a random thing that happened to her that day. This was already too serious for her liking. It made her even more nervous.

Gigi: hey stranger. 

Gigi: everything ok with u?

Crystal: Well, I kind of actually wanted to talk to you about something.

Gigi felt sheer panic in the pit of her stomach upon reading the text. Crystal probably realized Gigi had feelings for her and was weirded out. Which would explain why she didn’t text her the day before.

Gigi: oh? you’re making me nervous.

Crystal: Don’t be. Can I call you?

Gigi: of course.

“All or nothing,” Crystal muttered under her breath as she began calling Gigi.

“You look like you’re about to vomit,” Grant said.

“Fuck -” was all Gigi was able to say before her phone began ringing.

Gigi was planning on telling her friends what was going on, as they had all seen the color drain from her face, but Crystal called seconds after Gigi responded to her text.

“Hey,” Gigi said, mouthing Crystal’s name to her friends, who all gave her an understanding yet shocked nod as she walked out of the room, onto the front porch.

“Hi, sorry if I weirded you out.” Typical Crystal to apologize immediately.

“No, it’s fine. What’s going on?” Gigi tried her best to hide her nerves.

“I honestly don’t even know how to say this. Which is dumb because I’ve been thinking about it all day, and now I’m rambling like an idiot and-”

“Crystal, it’s just me. Relax. You can take a second if you need,” Gigi laughed.

“Okay. Right. You’re right.” Crystal stumbled, taking Gigi’s advice before she sounded foolish again. 

“Well, I care about you a lot. And I guess I didn’t realize how much until Daegan, Daya, and Lux kind of pulled it out of me. Hearing everything you said about me in your confessionals and everything meant a lot. I wish you could’ve seen how much I cared about you too. But I guess I’m trying to tell you that I think my feelings for you are.. deeper than I thought? Like, I like flirting with you. And telling you how good you look. Because you always look good. And you smell good too,” Crystal laughed, “and I’m rambling again. Did I freak you out?”

Gigi was stunned. If you had asked her why Crystal didn’t text her the previous day, this wouldn’t even have been remotely on her list of guesses. She felt her legs go to jelly.

“say that again,” she whispered on the phone, willing herself not to wake up if this was a dream.

“Say what again?”

“all of that.”

“Are you seriously making fun of me right now?” Crystal laughed, adding “You’re unbelievable.”

“No you dork. You just don’t know how fucking long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that. You said I always look good!”

“No, I think I must have a bad signal because I definitely did not say that.”

“then what did you say?” Gigi quipped, knowing Crystal would probably say something stupid.

“I said ‘because your name is Gigi Goode,’” Crystal responded, but it was almost like a question.

“sure you did. so what does this mean exactly?”

“What do you mean?” Crystal was still totally lost as to if Gigi was reciprocating her feelings or not.

“Do you have feelings for me or do you just enjoy flirting with me? because that’s kind of a big difference and I don’t want to be confused.” Gigi was willing herself not to get her hopes up.

“Honestly I don’t know. Both? In all fairness, I’m kind of still coming to terms with this.”

“What do you mean ‘in all fairness’?” Gigi said with a hint of an attitude popping up.

Crystal was beginning to sense that the conversation was heading in the wrong direction, so she willed herself to do a better job explaining.

“I just mean that this is really new for me. Like as of three days ago I would have never thought we’d be having this conversation, so I’m just trying to be honest. I thought you deserved to know.”

“Well if that’s the case, I wish you would’ve fucking waited Crystal. What am I supposed to do with this information?” Gigi snapped, without thinking twice about it.

“Gigi, listen, I don’t have any idea how to handle this. I didn’t mean to upset you and-”

“Hold on. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Gigi immediately softened after hearing Crystal become wracked with nerves.

“It’s just that my feelings for you freaked me out. I want to try this with you so badly Crystal. You mean a lot to me and I think we should have these conversations. But I need to be understanding that you’re behind me in this process. You still have to figure out how you feel and I want you to know I’m here for you. I’ll wait if I have to,” Gigi was finally able to show her vulnerable side, in hopes that it would show Crystal she made the right decision in telling Gigi.

“Yeah yeah yeah. You’re right. But what does that mean for us?” Crystal wondered.

“I think you should take some time to reflect more on how you feel. I don’t want to pressure you into anything and I don’t want you to feel obligated to say certain things to me. I guess maybe we just keep our distance for a little while? At least until you have more clarity.” Gigi half-heartedly proposed, not really wanting to have to spend any time away from Crystal. But she knew this would be the best option for the girl if she was to explore her feelings, just as the distance helped Gigi not too long ago.

“But I don’t want to not talk to you Gi. We didn’t talk for one day and I missed you so fucking much.” Crystal whined.

“Okay, well I don’t want you to not talk to me either,” Gigi laughed, “but it may help you.”

“I know. That doesn’t mean it makes it any easier.” 

“Well, what if we talk tonight. And maybe tomorrow. Just to see how it goes? And then we can take a few days to ourselves.”

“That sounds perfect.” Crystal glowed.

When they hung up, Gigi couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face as she entered her apartment where her friends were eagerly waiting for her.

“Wanna tell us what that was about?” Rosy asked.

“Spill the tea bitch!” Grant added for good measure.

Noticing the not so subtle grin Gigi was sporting, her friends began making fun of her, saying she looked like a love struck puppy.

“Crystal kind of confessed her feelings for me?” Gigi all but squealed.

“NO WAY!” Maggie exclaimed, followed by a chorus of their friends agreeing adding sentiments like, “Yes bitch!” “Get some sis” “Literal soulmates.”

“Yeah. She said her feelings for me are deeper than she thought. But she was like …. super flustered because she only realized after Daya, Lux, and Daegan pressed her about it.”

“So what’s going to happen now?” Maggie asked.

“Is she going to fly to LA and sweep you off your feet?” Grant added.

“Well, no. I obviously still don’t know why it was so hard for her to realize she likes me. And I don’t know anything about her relationship history. Or even if she wants a real relationship with me. I told her to take some time for herself in a few days to really think about it. But, she said she likes telling me how good I look. And that she really cares about me.” Gigi was practically gushing.

Her friends were being as supportive as ever, as Crystal didn’t waste any time in texting her.

Crystal: Hi

Gigi: hey(:

Crystal: you’re cute. like, really really really cute. 

Gigi: and what is so cute about me to deserve all those really’s?

Crystal: your smile. And the way you scrunch up your nose when you’re embarrassed. And your giggle. 

Crystal: Oh boy, how didn’t I realize this sooner? I’m swooning!

Gigi: damn you’re smitten! I’ll take it. 

Crystal: Only smitten with you.

Crystal didn’t know what got into her, but upon breaking down the ironclad walls surrounding her heart and realizing she liked Gigi, it felt like a dam broke inside of her. All she wanted was to tell the girl all the things she liked about her. But she figured there would be time for that, so the next morning she decided they should have more of a serious conversation. Gigi deserved that after being bombarded last night, especially if Crystal was going to take her advice and keep her distance for a while. 

Crystal: Hey you

Gigi: hi yourself (:

Crystal: Ur amazing. And gorgeous. And talented. Just thought someone should tell you.

Gigi: it feels the best when it comes from you. 

Crystal: So I was kind of thinking that when we talked last night, I didn’t really explain anything other than that I like you. I figured you would want more.

Gigi: it’s like you can read my mind.

Gigi: but seriously, yes I am curious but I want you to tell me when you’re ready. no rush.

Crystal: I’m kind of ready now though? At least just to clear the air on a few things.

Gigi: im listening.

Crystal: So I do like flirting with you. And I liked kissing you that one time. But if it was only that, I wouldn’t have called you the way I did. It’s so much more and that scares me for so many reasons. Most of all, I really really don’t want to lose you or ruin what we have.

Gigi: I think since we’re both feeling the same things, we owe it to ourselves to explore them when the time is right. But your friendship comes first and foremost to me Crys, you’re stuck with me for life.

After their short exchange, it became crystal clear to Gigi that this wasn’t just Crystal being oblivious to her own feelings. There was something that had happened to Crystal that made her feel the need to build walls up, walls she had trouble tearing down. It was hard to believe such an open, carefree, confident person such as Crystal would have to do that, even more so that Gigi had never really seen it until now. Crystal was good at hiding her emotions and keeping things private. 


	8. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter of my fic! I just want to say I had zero expectations for what would happen after I uploaded the prologue for this story. Thank you so much to everyone that took the time to read it. It’s the most rewarding thing to hear that this story has meant something to you guys and that it makes your lives even the tiniest bit better because it has brought me so much joy to write it and upload it here. At the end of the day, Crystal and Gigi are artists who inspire me to do what i love, which is to write, and I couldn’t be happier with your responses to it!

Even when Crystal thought her feelings for Gigi were platonic, she knew she loved talking to the girl. Gigi always seemed to shock her, never quite knowing what to expect because Gigi’s exterior was practically perfect, not to mention extremely attractive, yet her personality was almost as bizarre as Crystal’s. It was refreshing to feel like she could be so comfortable around someone else, especially now having a romantic connection with someone who she wouldn’t have to water herself down for. Gigi already encouraged her to be her weirdest most authentic self, so it excited Crystal immensely to see how that could be elevated if they entered a real relationship.

The truth was, she was having a slightly difficult time not talking to Gigi for the time being. Firstly because she had just admitted her feelings for the girl, so all she really wanted to do was talk to her and tell her all the things she liked about her. Secondly because she had grown so accustomed to speaking to Gigi practically all of the time, so she didn’t truly realize how much she would miss their conversations. And thirdly, Gigi quickly became a hot topic, partly of her own doing, that she would have to discuss when talking about drag and especially her experience on Drag Race because most people that knew her also knew how close the two were. 

It didn’t take Crystal very long to become aware of the fact that she didn’t have to reflect on her feelings for Gigi. She didn’t need much time at all to realize what she thought were friendly feelings for Gigi were actually so much more than that. She was blinded by her admiration for the girl and the idea that someone as impressive as Gigi would give her the time of day, so she couldn’t acknowledge that the way she treated Gigi was different because she was actually falling in love with her. After all, she had always known that part of her was attracted to Gigi both in and out of drag. From the moment she saw Gigi in her pirate outfit, or costume as Jackie said, Crystal couldn’t take her eyes off of those long legs and got lost in those intimidating, yet kind and warm brown eyes. She could tell there was an attractive person behind the drag, but she didn’t realize just how attractive she would find Gigi upon first glance. Now that Crystal feels like a weight is lifted off of her shoulders, it was relieving to give into her emotions and embrace her strong feelings. 

However, the reason she needed to take these few days was to ask herself honestly if she could give Gigi what she deserved. Gigi deserved unconditional love, something Crystal was sure she could provide and essentially already was providing. Gigi deserved encouragement and happiness and acceptance and understanding, again all things Crystal was confident she could provide. Gigi also deserved commitment and communication, some of the things Crystal unfortunately came to realize she was not providing. 

Commitment itself was never an issue for her, never something she was afraid of, but along with commitment came trust and vulnerability which were things she gave so willingly in the past only to be majorly let down. In her heart, she felt that Gigi wouldn’t do the same, but nothing is impossible and Crystal had to prepare herself for the possibility of heartbreak. She decided in these few days that pursuing Gigi would be worth that possibility because just the idea of not trying things with Gigi made Crystal feel like she was passing up on lightning in a bottle. 

Communication was also something that was difficult for Crystal, always feeling ashamed in talking about her past relationships and how she never prioritized herself. She knew it would be shocking to people who see this person that is so confident and open, just to find out that just a few years ago she was willing to give it all up to be loved by someone for all the wrong reasons. Again, Crystal used this time to come to terms with the fact that regardless of their relationship status, she wanted to be transparent with Gigi about every aspect of her life, her past included. 

Although Crystal was moving in a positive direction, it was apparent to those around her through these few days that she was not in high spirits. It was rare for her friends to see her being mostly serious, as even when she was most upset she found humor to be something she appreciated. That’s why when her Get Dusted sisters came to her and Daegan’s apartment, they had assumed the worst. Daegan knew when Crystal was quiet, there was something wrong and to just give her space for the time being. Seeing as they knew Crystal was confronting her feelings and she hadn’t updated them on the situation, Daegan was determined to get to the bottom of it.

“Girl, I’ve been letting you sulk around this apartment for days without asking you anything. Did Gigi really take it that badly?” Daegan asked, assuming Gigi didn’t reciprocate Crystal’s feelings because Gigi hadn’t even been interacting with any of them either. It was radio silent.

“What would make you say she took it badly?” Crystal wondered.

“Well we all kind of figured, or at least I did, that you would have told us if it was good news.” Lux added.

“I guess I should have. I don’t know. I didn’t want to jinx anything in case something went wrong in the next few days or Gigi changed her mind.” Crystal started.

“Does that mean it went well?” Daya pressed.

“Yeah! We talked and she said she’s had feelings for me for a while. Actually, I’m not sure how long or anything because the conversation wasn’t long. She said she wanted me to get on the same page as her and that she knows I’m probably overwhelmed since I’ve just started to understand my feelings. She recommended we take a few days away from each other so I don’t feel pressured to rush anything.”

“Wow you really found yourself a gem, huh?” Daya said, the admiration for Gigi evident in her tone.

“She’s practically perfect. I mean, I definitely wouldn’t be that understanding after pining for so long.” Lux said.

Lightly laughing, Crystal answered, “She was kind of annoyed at first because naturally I wasn’t explaining myself well. Believe me, it was not a perfect call, but I wouldn’t change anything about it. She snapped at me for saying I didn’t know what I wanted but she apologized right away and said she understands and it’s not fair to assume we’re on the same level.”

“So are you questioning how serious your feelings are or are you trying to get over your fear of relationships?” Daegan not-so-subtly indicated what she really wanted to know.

“I definitely don’t have to question how I feel about her if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve just been figuring out if I could give her what she deserves and not be so scared about getting hurt.” Crystal spoke honestly, knowing she was on her way to overcoming, or at least taming, her fears.

Gigi knew it would be hard for her to not text Crystal, growing so attached to her since the beginning of filming the show, so she was grateful when the time came, she was preoccupied. She was flying back to her hometown in Illinois to celebrate her older brother’s birthday, meaning she would spend most of her day traveling and connecting with her family who she hasn’t seen in far too long. Originally, she couldn’t afford to fly out just for the week she was planning to stay, but with the successes of her merch and her ability to book more gigs than usual over the last few months, Gigi made it work. She missed her family. 

When Gigi got to her childhood home, she made a conscious decision not to tell anyone about Crystal. She knew her family took an instant liking to Crystal on the show and upon seeing how close Gigi became with her, they liked her even more. Truthfully, Gigi was dying to tell them just how much the other girl meant to her, but she decided it would be best to keep it under wraps and apply as little pressure to the situation as possible. It seemed like Crystal was on the right track and Gigi didn’t want to do anything that could derail her. After all, each day she didn’t converse with Crystal, the girl made sure to send her a red heart emoji, to let Gigi know she was thinking of her. It melted Gigi’s heart, elevating her confidence even more that she was making the right decision waiting for Crystal.

Upon her second full day in Illinois, the fourth day without talking to Crystal, Gigi was woken up from her brief nap around noon to an incoming phone call from Crystal.

“Hello?” Gigi’s voice was dazed and groggy, but she didn’t want to miss the call and worry Crystal.

“Hey sleepyhead. Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah. What gave it away?”

“Your hot morning voice duh!”

“Morning voice?”

“Uhh yeah? Isn’t it 10am there? I figured you would’ve been awake by now.”

“No it’s noon.”

“So you’re waking up at noon? I thought you hated doing that. And it's noon where I am, so I’m pretty sure your clock isn’t working correctly,” Crystal laughed.

“Oh my god I’m so stupid. I’m in Illinois,” Gigi could slap herself from how clueless she was at times, it taking her this long into the conversation to figure out Crystal was probably totally lost. “I was taking a nap because my mom and I went for breakfast and to a few stores.”

“Oh that’s so fun! Am I interrupting? I wouldn’t have called if I knew you were with your family.”

“definitely do not apologize for calling me. And clearly you didn’t interrupt anything, I was sleeping you dork. But now since you woke me up I think you’re obligated to keep me company.”

“Oh is that how it works?”

“Duh. How have you been?” Gigi asked the question that was on her mind since the moment Crystal’s name popped up on her screen.

“I’ve been well. I didn’t want to rush myself or anything, you know? I think my heart knew where it was for a long time. I didn’t spend the last few days confused about my feelings. I spent them trying to sort through the personal feelings that I had because of my feelings for you. My feelings about being in a relationship and the potential of getting hurt and all that. It was never about doubting you and I really hope it didn’t come off that way.”

Gigi was relieved at what she was hearing, but mostly her insides turned to mush because of how fucking adorable Crystal was without even trying.

“I kind of figured, and hoped, that’s what was happening. Does this phone call mean you’re ready to talk? Or is this just a check-in that we stupidly didn’t think of doing before.”

“Well I sort of just had a genius idea?”

“What’s your idea?”

“If you’re in Illinois, maybe we can find a way to see each other? If you have time of course. I don’t want to take away from your family or hometown friends. But I figure a few hours driving in a car beats a few hundred dollars to buy an airplane ticket.”

“I would have to agree that this is a genius idea Ms. Methyd.”

Crystal laughed before Gigi added, “Let me just figure out when all the family events are happening and see what day is best.”

Gigi knew that was a lie, but she was so beyond excited at the thought of not only seeing Crystal, but seeing Crystal for the first time since they addressed their feelings. Being able to see Crystal open up without there needing to be a cellphone or thousands of miles between them was enough to make Gigi’s insides tingle. Gigi knew her brother’s birthday celebration was in three days, so she decided to just get up and take off as soon as her phone call with Crystal ended. Not before texting Daegan to make sure it was alright that she even come to Missouri in the first place, and also asking her mother if she could borrow her car for the road trip, telling her she was going to visit Crystal to catch up. That wasn’t necessarily a lie, but she certainly downplayed the significance of this catch up. 

“Okay, but you better be careful driving. It’s a long drive and I will not be pleased if there’s even a hint of a scratch on my car,” Gigi’s mom warned, as Gigi had totaled a car in the past and usually never liked driving anywhere especially if it was too far.

“I’ll be extra careful,” Gigi promised, practically bouncing off of the walls at the idea that she could be in Crystal’s arms at the end of the day.

Surprised by Gigi’s excitement, her mom added, “I’m glad you found such a lovely friend from the show. I can’t wait to meet Crystal! If there’s any truth to those rumors you two love to joke about, I approve.”

Gigi beamed, knowing her mom knew her better than anyone else in the world and could read her like a book, probably having an idea of Gigi’s feelings. In all honesty, Gigi would have spilled to her mom but she knew how protective her mom was of her and didn’t want her to treat Crystal any differently if she saw how hurt Gigi had been. Now that things seemed to be changing, Gigi didn’t want to make things too serious without seeing where Crystal’s head was and finally, hopefully, being on the same page.

Before she knew it, light turned to dark and she was driving through the streets of Springfield, marveling at the things Crystal must have seen on a daily basis and immediately feeling closer to the other girl. She made sure to tell Crystal she would probably be too busy with family things to text her all day, that being a blatant lie because even if she were doing things with her family, nothing would have stopped her from texting Crystal. Gigi couldn’t believe the other girl couldn’t see how much she swooned over her. She took the liberty of texting Daegan, who had told her that Crystal was out on her daily late-night walk. When she got to the apartment, she felt this nervous energy buzzing inside of her and a giddiness to see where Crystal spent most of her time, finally getting to see the place Crystal loved so much and called home. 

“Bitch I am gagged that you’re here right now. Crystal is going to lose her fucking mind,” Daegan said as she opened up the door.

Gigi laughed, “Once she said she wanted to see me, I had no other choice! I was so excited I couldn’t wait.”

“While I have you here alone, I’m dying to know if you had feelings for Crystal for a long time? Were you pining over her?”

“Yeah I really care about her. I think this is pretty serious, honestly. I’ve never felt like this for anyone before, so guess I was pining. It kind of took not seeing her everyday for me to realize how much she meant to me.”

“And that kiss in New York?”

Gigi blushed. “Definitely more than just a fun time for me. That’s probably when I knew my feelings weren’t going to go away easily.”

Before Daegan could continue interrogating her, feeling confident that this girl was more than deserving to be with Crystal, they heard Crystal’s keys jingle as she was opening up the door.

“Fuck” Gigi whispered as Daegan led her to the living room, so she could wait on the couch.

“Really quickly, just know that Crystal has been hurt before and she deserves to feel special. She’s been through a lot.” Daegan said before walking away from Gigi to inch towards the door.

Gigi couldn’t help but already assume what Daegan had told her, but it hurt Gigi’s heart nonetheless to hear that someone hurt the most kind-hearted person in the world. It made her angry beyond belief to even think about.

As Crystal entered her house, she yelled “Honey I’m homeeee!” to Daegan, as per usual.

“Hey. I think something came for you, I left it on the couch.” 

“This late?”

“I don’t know bitch, what do I look like?” Daegan tried her hardest to act casual, but her excitement for her best friend was about to bubble over.

“Okay! Okay! You know, there are nicer ways of sayin-” Crystal began speaking as she walked into the living room just to see Gigi Goode sitting on her couch. 

“No fucking way.” Crystal said in complete disbelief. 

Gigi was smiling as widely as her face would allow, unable to keep the nervous grin off of her face. She was a bundle of nerves, wanting to sprint into Crystal’s arms and smother her in kisses while simultaneously wanting to sink into the couch in fear that Crystal changed her mind.

Gigi was immediately relieved, as she saw the shock on Crystal’s face turn into a giant smile, rushing over to the couch to hold Gigi.

Gigi herself got up and practically lunged into Crystal’s arms, hugging her for dear life, while Daegan watched, her eyes filling with tears at the thought that this may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship for her best friend with someone Daegan already approved of.

“Okay, so I’m going to give you guys some privacy, but just know that I’m so fucking happy for the two of you. And if you try to tell anyone I cried, there will be major fucking consequences,” she said while sporting a smile as Crystal and Gigi laughed.

“Okay. I’m so overwhelmed right now? You’re really here.” Crystal said in the least elegant way possible, botching her words in the most Crystal-like fashion.

“I hope it’s a good overwhelmed! That car ride was no joke.”

“It’s the best kind of overwhelmed,” Crystal said while taking a chance by putting her hands on Gigi’s face, gently stroking her cheek. She watched Gigi’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink, blush evident as she was clearly not used to this type of intimacy. It made Crystal happy.

“Can I kiss you?” Crystal whispered and, right after she received a shy nod from Gigi, she gave her the softest kiss, laced with love and passion, in the hopes of wordlessly telling Gigi how she was feeling. 

“Mmm can you, like, never stop doing that?” Gigi let the words slip out of her mouth without thinking twice.

“Sure,” Crystal laughed, “but first I think we should probably talk.”

When Gigi agreed, Crystal took the liberty of starting the conversion, saying, “Do you want to get some things off your chest? I don’t really know much about when you started having feelings or how you’ve been dealing with everything. I just want to check on you first, you know?”

Gigi decided to kiss Crystal, it being the first time she really made the first move, to show her appreciation before gathering her thoughts.

“That was cute. But yeah, I guess I kind of forgot you were in the dark as well. I didn’t realize my feelings for you on drag race, which is why it was kind of mortifying to see myself gush about you without even comprehending what I was saying. When I saw you in the airport for the first time after filming, something came over me. It felt like something was missing and then when I saw you, it wasn’t missing anymore. But I still didn’t really know how I felt until you started to get a little flirty in our texts. I guess I was confused already and didn’t want to admit to myself that I could have feelings that would potentially ruin what we had. And then you made me think maybe you felt the same way? So I couldn’t wait for New York to see if I could find any clarity whatsoever.”

As Gigi was explaining her side of the story, Crystal was filled with shock, having no idea Gigi kept this in for so long. It made her chest physically hurt to think she was probably sending Gigi mixed signals for months without realizing, so stuck in her own ways and in her own head that she couldn’t see that she was hurting the person she cared for the most in the world. She didn’t want to interrupt the other girl, so she decided to wait until Gigi finished explaining before apologizing profusely for her idiocy. 

“So New York was kind of a mess because I initially thought you were throwing me signals that you had feelings. Especially that night where I caught you watching me dance and then you kissed me. I sort of thought, which is so fucking embarrassing to admit, that the kiss was the start of something more. So when you told me about your mission to have a one night stand or whatever, I figured you were subtly letting me know the kiss didn’t mean anything to you and everything that was going on was platonic. I even cried in my hotel room in front of Jackie.”

“So she knew? Crystal asked, unable to stop herself.

“Yeah. She knew in New York, but I spent the next few weeks convincing myself since you gave me an answer, even if you didn’t mean to, as to how you were feeling, I would have to move on. The last thing I wanted was to mess up our friendship over some feelings I couldn’t get past. After a while, I actually did start to feel much better and I told Jackie that. And then as we got deeper into the show, the more I saw that I was making a fucking fool of myself and all the fans picked up on some chemistry between us. I realized I probably did have feelings for you even longer than I thought, so it just became confusing if I was really over them. And then you called me and when you said what you said, it made me realize all I’ve wanted was to hear you say something like that.” Gigi finished with a huff, looking like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders now that she didn’t have to hide anything from Crystal.

“Wow.” Crystal said, trying to wrap her mind around everything Gigi must have been feeling. She couldn’t imagine going through this entire process filled with anxiety and the fear of the unknown, all while having to play these mind games and process confusing feelings for someone she was so close to. 

“mhmm,” is all Gigi said, growing slightly insecure at pouring her heart out like that. It was unlike herself to fully give into her emotions, but somehow Crystal made it so easy. Crystal made her feel like she didn't have to be polished all the time, it was okay to be herself and embrace the imperfect. 

“Thank you for telling me now. I feel so fucking stupid thinking that you’ve been dealing with this for so long and you didn’t tell me because you were scared it would change things. I want you in my life forever, regardless of what capacity it’s in and I really really hope you know that.” 

“I think I know,” Gigi said softly.

“Well I’ll keep reminding you until you don’t just think it, you feel it.”

Gigi smiled, kissing Crystal’s cheek as she continued, “I knew from the second I saw you that you were special. I can’t even believe you’re interested in someone like me when you could have anyone in the world. But I can’t lie to you and tell you I knew I had feelings for you from the beginning. Or even until recently. That doesn’t mean they couldn’t have been there, it just means I was blind to them. I’ve only ever been in three relationships, two of them not lasting very long at all and happening when I was so young and insecure I didn’t really know who I was. I haven’t been in a relationship in two years, that ex being the one who I honestly thought I would marry. I thought I had everything figured out and it was the first time I really mapped out a future with someone. Whether or not it was a good thing, I clung to that idea and shut out all the red flags and the things my friends were telling me because I loved him. I wish I could sit here and tell you I finally stood up for myself and broke it off, but the truth is he left me and I spent the next year waiting for him to come back wondering why I suddenly wasn’t good enough. I would’ve taken him back at any moment.”

She knew it couldn’t be easy for Gigi to hear what she was saying, but she was trying desperately to get her to understand how deeply she was hurt and how difficult it would be to let someone in like that again. 

“He said he fell out of love with me. Once I realized he wasn’t coming back, I threw myself into drag, which I only started doing a few months before we broke up. It seemed like the more I explored my own identity, the less he was willing to understand me or support me. He wasn’t completely comfortable with what I did and he didn’t like my weirdness or my uniqueness. It just got to the point where I felt like I had to tone it down for him and that’s something I never want to do for anybody again. It wasn’t exactly my feelings for him that made me close off from any other relationship, it was the fact that I was so willing to put someone before me no matter how much I ended up hurting myself.”

Gigi could not believe someone could ever not love Crystal for being, well, Crystal. It made her sad beyond belief to think of Crystal trying to be something she wasn’t for someone who supposedly loved her.

“I would never ever try to dim your light. The world deserves to see you shine Crystal, and I would only ever support that. It’s one of the reasons I like you so fucking much. There is literally nobody in this world like you, not even close. And that’s magical.” Gigi didn’t want to interrupt Crystal while she was opening up, but she felt compelled to tell Crystal how special she was, suddenly angry that someone would convince Crystal otherwise.

After giving Gigi a quick kiss, that turned into a few more kisses, Crystal responded, “I feel that from you. I was scared when I first met you that you’d be like the queens from Springfield that don’t understand me or my drag, but you were the polar opposite. You embraced me from the very beginning and made me remember that what I do is something to be proud of, even when literally nobody else thought so. It’s not that I was spooked you would suddenly tear me down, I just got scared that I would be putting myself in a position to get hurt again. I really had no intention of having these kinds of feelings again, but it’s different with you. And I can’t ignore that.”

After taking a breath, Crystal asked, “Do you want to come to the front porch for a minute? I want to show you something.”

Gigi nodded, grabbing Crystal’s hand as they made their way outside. It was almost midnight at this point, chilly air engulfing them, as Crystal looked up at the sky.

When Gigi followed Crystal’s lead, she gasped, “I’ve never seen this many stars in my life. It’s beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Crystal replied smoothly before continuing, “when I realized I had feelings for you after the girls sat me down and talked with me, I went on a walk. I remember looking up at the stars, just like I always do when I feel conflicted, and thinking that all I wanted was for you to be next to me. I am so fucking sorry it took me this long to see clearly, but you are everything to me. You’re my stars, my sun, my moon, you’re everything good in this world times ten. You’re the most talented person I’ve ever met, not to mention you literally look like a Greek god, but you’re also so kind, you’re goofy, you’re clumsy, and you light up a room every time you walk into it. I see you and I see your heart, which is why I love you. What I’m saying is that I’m in love with you, Gigi, and I don’t want to waste anymore time being afraid because you make me feel so fucking safe it takes my breath away.”

Gigi felt like she could explode at this point, knowing in her heart of hearts that Crystal was meant for her. She knew the two had something special and once it was tapped into, it would result in fireworks. And it was all finally happening. She found her light at the end of the tunnel, she found her star in the sky, she found her person.

“I’m in love with you too Crystal, always.” Gigi says, wrapping her arms around the other girl's neck, both of them glancing at the stars before getting lost in one another’s eyes. The world around them stopped for a moment, as they kissed under the moonlight without a single worry plaguing them, knowing they were at the beginning of forever. 

As the night became too chilly for comfort and Gigi started making her way inside, Crystal knew there was someone she wanted to talk to after her conversation with Gigi. 

“Hold on babe, I want to make a quick call. I’ll be right in.” Crystal said without even realizing the pet name that suddenly seemed so natural.

“Oh alright, babe” Gigi replied with emphasis, unable to stop herself from glowing at finally getting to this place with Crystal, not even realizing the depth of her feelings until hearing the other girl practically declare her love. 

Once she was alone, Crystal dialed the person who seemed to have Gigi’s back through their rollercoaster of a relationship. 

“Hi Crys, what’s up?” Jackie answered easily, as it had become a usual thing to call each other up after their talk on the phone after the final episode. 

“Hi I wanted to talk to you about something if you have a minute.” 

Not exactly used to the seriousness in Crystal’s voice, Jackie confusedly said, “Of course. Is everything alright?”

“Oh yeah yeah yeah. I know all you girls joked about being unsure about Gigi and I’s relationship and not knowing all the details. I just found out about how you were there for Gigi and wanted to thank you.” Crystal started, giving Jackie an idea as to where the conversation was headed. The truth was, although she was currently on cloud nine with Gigi surprising her, there was still a pit in her stomach because of the guilt she felt at even thinking about the other girl suffering because of her. If it wasn’t for Jackie, Gigi would have been totally alone. And that hurt Crystal more than anything else.

“Oh. I definitely did not expect that. She told you how she felt?” 

“Well actually I told her how I felt first. My friends said they thought there was something there and I guess I was in denial. I’m sure it might’ve been obvious to everyone else before it was to me, but Gigi told me you were there for her when I obviously wasn’t. I guess I just feel bad for everything I put her through, you know?”

“Of course. I knew she meant a lot to you, but obviously you never told me in what capacity. I asked Gigi if she felt anything for you because I was noticing how close the two of you were and it was easier for me to read her emotions. I didn’t tell anyone of course, but yeah I felt bad for her. She was really upset.” Jackie said lightly, not wanting to make Crystal feel even worse but at the same time stick up for Gigi.

“I just want you to know she means a lot to me. Just because I didn’t know what my feelings were doesn’t mean they weren’t there, but I had no idea that she could have felt the same. I know it’s sort of a weird position for you but honestly thank you for supporting her.”

“You know I have both of your backs always girl. So, you really like her huh? Of course Crygi is real.” Jackie laughed.

“Yeah always and forever! But seriously, I want to make her the happiest fucking person alive Jackie. She is so special and I’m kind of still in shock that this is real. I’m crazy about her.”

When Crystal went inside to find Gigi cuddled up under a blanket laying on the couch laughing with Daegan, she instantly felt a wave of warmth, comfort, and love wash over her. If she could see this image of the love of her life in such a happy state bonding with one of her best friends in the world everyday she would be the luckiest person alive. It felt like all was right in the world, her fears dissipating as she felt total trust in not only the girl in front of her, but in the undeniable connection they had. 

“Hey you.” Crystal said affectionately, as Gigi sat up and opened her arms for Crystal to cuddle her. Although this stage in their relationship was new, it felt all too familiar to Crystal, like the pieces of the puzzle were finally falling into place. 

“Oh God now the two of you are going to be all mushy. I’m still here too, you know!” Daegan joked, very obviously adoring the relationship blossoming before her very eyes. It was further confirmation to her that Crystal was finally finding happiness with another person, while also being happy for Gigi who she had come to love as a person totally outside of her relationship with Crystal. 

Once Daegan got up to give them privacy, Gigi whispered in her ear, slightly insecurely and slightly unsure if this was just a dream, “Hi. I really like you.”

“Like? I thought we already said we loved each other.” Crystal laughed.

“That too.”

“I’m sorry I was so unaware. I know you know it wasn’t on purpose, but it was not fair to you at all to have gone through that. And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what we had was so much more than I fooled myself into thinking. You deserve better and I intend on being better for you everyday. I know you’re confident, but I honestly don’t think you even realize how amazing you are and how unbelievably lucky I am that you didn’t give up on us.”

“I know we still have some adjusting to do since this is very new for you but I don’t doubt that you’ll make me feel special everyday. You have the biggest heart out of anyone I’ve ever known. It was a no brainer to wait for you, Crys. I feel just as lucky.”

“Mhm does that mean we should wait a little while before we tell anyone?” Crystal wondered, not really knowing what the boundaries were for their relationship.

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t want it to become all that anyone talks about instead of our performances for the final, you know?”

“Yeah yeah, I agree. But, for the record, I can’t wait to scream from the rooftops that I love you.”

“Me too.” Gigi smiled, leaning over to give Crystal a lazy, yet passionate kiss getting lost in all that was Crystal. 

Gigi Goode was never someone who let anyone rattle her. She was confident, she was polished, and she was unstoppable. Meeting Crystal was an absolute whirlwind, finding the one for her on a reality television show all the while elevating her career and dealing with life-changing feelings. Even though it was one of the most difficult things she’d ever gone through, she knew Crystal was meant for her and allowed her to open up in a way she didn’t even know she could. With every red heart emoji Crystal sent her, the more her feelings grew and the closer she was to her happily ever after. It felt like, after all this time, she was finally getting it.


End file.
